Page 171 of Fragments
“H-how do you know?” I ask him on a frightened whisper. “What makes you think that this is… that?”
He licks his lip slowly, lacing our fingers where I’ve been unwittingly squeezing his hand. “Because I want to doeverythingin my power to make you happy… even when you hate me and refuse to look at me. I want to be next to you all the time… Just breathing the same air as you. I want to hold your hand and kiss your neck, and I want you towantme to… more than I’ve ever wantedanything. I feel like I could slaughter anyone who causes you pain,includingmyself. It’s so unbearably fucked up, but I would open a vein and bleed just to make you smile… That has to mean I’m in love with you…Right?”
I can’t do any more than blink while he shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter if I’ve never felt it before. In mysoul, Iknowwhat this is… I’mdesperatelyin love with you, Lexington, and I never won’t be. Believe me, I’ve tried. Even if it tears us both to shreds… I’m so sorry, baby, but Ican’tstop. As long as I’m breathing, I won’teverstop feeling the way I feel about you. In crazy, fierce, burning fuckinglove.”
My lips are parted, hanging open while I stare at his beautiful face.
I think he’s fucking nuts. He might just be the craziest person I’ve ever known… and he hides itsowell. He’s got a goddamn Encyclopedia Britannica of issues underneath that glowing skin and perfect body and immaculate smile. It’s the best camouflage…
A villain with the face of a hero.
But despite all the red flags, and the hurt he’s caused me over the years, here I am. Still standing right the fuck here, in his cell,drowningin him.
I chose not to go with Dash, but to stay. Forthis.
I’m clearly just as fucked up as he is…
Because I think I love him too.
“You’re insane,” I whisper, blinking baffled, awestruck eyes at him. He nods. “No, like, I think you might becertifiable, Ren. You’re so fucking needy, and obsessive, andmanipulative…”
“I know,” he hums, gently touching my collarbone. And that unstoppable force moves my face closer to his. “I am all those things, and probably way more bad stuff we haven’t even scratched the surface of yet…”
“You’re goddamn chaos, Warren…” My forehead drops to his. “But I was wrong before. You’re not selfish. Not all the time…”
“It’s justyou, Lex.” His words warm my lips. “Any good I attempt is only for you.”
“I hate myself,” I breathe, pulse pounding inside my skull as the flames melt us together. “I hate that I can’t break this…”
His fingertips glide up to grasp my jaw and hold me still. “Stop acting like you don’t knowexactlywhat you want, baby.”
The resistance I’ve been clutching for so long is my battle shield, and it’s slowly slipping from my grip. I’m struggling to hold on to it, but I don’t know if I can…
I just don’t think I’m strong enough to fight him off anymore.
Maybe I was never really fighting him at all.
“I know what I want.” I nod, shivering. “It’s s-so… bad…”
Both of our chests heave while we flutter in this cold, dark prison cell, keeping each other breathing; surviving on the electricity that flows between us.
He’s the negative to my positive, and here we are… Together.
Fully charged.
“You came in here for a reason…” Ren touches my throat.
“I didn’t… I don’t want you to fuck Velle just so I can keep my stuff.”
“No?” His smooth voice slips in through my ears, curling around my brain. “You don’t want that…?”
I shake my head. “No… I don’t want that.”
“Who should be fucking me then, Lex?” His lips brush mine before he runs them down my jaw.
“I… I don’t know,” I stammer, hesitantly touching his chest. It’s always meant to push him away… But it never seems to go down like that.
“I think you do.” His lips dance over the mound in my throat as it bobs.
