Page 197 of Fragments
Why am I even trying?
In a daze of misery, I pad slowly up the hall, bending to pick up a piece of stone that’s fallen from the ceiling.
Worthless, lying little slut…
That voice… I know who it is now.
You were good for only one thing, and you can’t even do that anymore.
My feet shuffle, bringing the hollow husk of my body back into my cell where I collapse onto the floor.
Give up, Warren. You can’t fight it anymore…
With Callum Kade’s words ringing in my skull, I flip my wrist over and hold the jagged object up to my waiting flesh.
Give in to who you are.
Your fire will set you free.
The slice is a delicious agony; a rough, burning cut that releases all my pain with pulses of blood bubbling from the open wound. My lashes flutter and I topple onto my side.
Behind my eyes, I see flames engulfing me. I hear the crackling, feel the heat kissing my sticky skin.
Laughter erupts from my lips, manic giggles flowing as the blood trickles down my arm. I’m cackling, coughing, and choking for air…surrounded by smoke.
Burning alive, just like I should have that night.
I should’ve died with Callum in that blaze of wickedness I made… But instead, I wound up here, causing even more destruction.
It’s all over. I’m done infecting the only good thing I’ve ever known.
I have to save him from me.
In a dizzying haze… I give up the fight.
I let myself bleed. Because Ideserveit.
I don’t even know how to process this…
Just because you knew something awful was coming, it doesn’t negate the reaction. If anything, it’smorepainful the second time around, because the hurt is framed by self-loathing.
Always a fun combo.
I’m so torn to shreds, I can’t even eat. I’m just sitting and staring for the entirety of the meal, and what’s worse, I can feel Kang radiating hostility from across the table. He doesn’t need to say anything. I know he thinks I’m a dumbass for letting Ren in again, getting my hopes up only to be hacked apart when Isworeup and down we were just casually fucking in the first place.
The naïvety is probably the worst part. My lack of relationship experience makes me the perfect target for someone like Ren. Because I don’t know any better, so I just keep falling for his sugar-coated words every time.
I lost my virginity to the dude, for fuck’s sake. Apparently, that was all it took for me to drop the guard I’d worked so damn hard at building back up after last time. All thenever gonna happenin the world was no match for the love spell he cast the second my dick made its way inside him.
After that,bang. I literally just tossed my shield down and offered him my wide-open chest to stab.
Did I seriously think I was capable of just sleeping with him a few times and moving on? Or continuing some nonchalant, friends-who-fuck-on-occasion agreement after he told me he fuckingloves me, while simultaneously banging all kinds of other dudes??
Yea, right. Sounds plausible.
Tell me more about that plan, you gullible twat.
I was so blinded by the sex, I completely forgot that person I was having it with is a beautiful, blue-eyed spawn of fucking Satan. I might need to have my head examined, because I’m supposed to be a genius, and I’m acting like total buffoon.
