Page 37 of Fragments
Unfortunately, the more seconds tick by in silence, the more my mind refuses to quit boomeranging back to my ex-whatever he almost was, the fire-starter.
What exactly did he do with Dash in that room, anyway? Did Dash like it?
I know Dash is straight, but he must be realizing I was right about how fucking blurry the lines can get in here. And since Ren is habitually bored and in need of constant human contact, he likes to be the one to make those lines nice and fuzzy.
I haven’t even seen Ren in days at this point, since our argument in the caf. I guess he’s avoiding me.And I should be glad about that, right? It’s what I wanted…
But naturally, even when he keeps his distance, he has to do it in hisRenway, never really letting go. Planning and scheming…
Confusing my new friend just to make me jealous…
“Dash…” I squeak his name when the silence gets to be too much.
“Yea?” he answers quietly.
“How did it feel… with Ren?”
I hate the way I sound right now. I sound like Icare, when I really,reallyshouldn’t.
“Dude, I don’t—” Dash starts to protest my question, but I interrupt.
“I just mean, like… did it feel like he was really into it?”
God. What is the fucking point of asking him that? Why on earth are youstilltorturing yourself??
“Yea.” Dash sighs the word hesitantly. “But not for me.”
My forehead lines, face swinging left, though I obviously can’t see him from up here on my bunk. “What do you mean?”
He goes silent for a few more seconds before he murmurs, “He said your name.”
Stupid.
It’s so painfullystupidhow my heart reacts to those four words.
Swallowing a lump in my throat while ignoring the flutter of dumbassery in my chest, I release a long exhale. “He usually does…”
It’s the truth. Ren has been pulling thisproxyshit for a while. It’s just a game he’s perfected to get a rise out of me. And I’m playing right into his hand. Because here I am…reactingto it. Prying Dash for all the dirty details, just like the liar wants me to.
Damn him.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you guys, but can you let him know I don’t want to get in the middle?” Dash mumbles. “I’m just trying to get by here.”
And now I feel awful. AndIdidn’t even do anything.
Standard. Thanks a lot, Ren.
“I know, bro,” I hum, remorsefully. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he says, not exactly sounding pissed or anything. Just… confused. “Just don’t expect it to happen again.”
I feel him flopping around down there, and I sigh, scrubbing a palm over my scalp. I’m supposed to be showing Dash the ropes, helping him get through this as best he can while simultaneously making sure he doesn’t follow in the footsteps of my past cellmates.
And I’m sort of failing miserably.
“I guess trying to keep Ren out of your head is easier said than done…” I fold my hands behind my head as I stare up at the ceiling. “I would know.”
“He’s pretty intense,” Dash murmurs.
