Page 59 of Fragments
I believed I was in love with Callum Kade…And what’s love if not complete and total obsession, right?But he only wanted me for what he could take from me, like all of the men I’ve been with since him—until tonight.
Hell, even myparents. That’s why they’ve hated me my entire life… Because I’m not benefiting them.
Callum Kade reached into my brain and began twisting wires together like he was hot-wiring a car. It wasn’t love, I know that now. It was the one thing that drives us even more than love, or sex ever could.
Power.
That’s what I want right now, that’s what I need to prove to them all that I have over them. I shouldn’t be chasing Callum Kade…
I should be setting him free.
Strolling up our block, I pause in front of the house, remembering my father’s words earlier, before I left.
Burn you to the ground…
I pull a pack of cigarettes out of my bag, sticking one between my lips and striking the match. Yellowish orange flickers, dancing before my eyes. Hypnotizing me.
I watch it burn, the flame inching toward my fingers.
Burned at the stake, huh?
The match goes out. So I strike another, lighting my cigarette. I stand on the curb, smoking and staring.
Burn…
I should set them free, too.
Fire has a way of wiping things clean. It’s like a fresh start… And my parents are in need of some freshening for the stale world in which they live.
Boring rich assholes… What do they know about life, and love… Sex and pain. They exist in a mirage.
Watch it burn…
Just like him, they’ll never want me, no matter what I do. I could slice my wrists open and bleed out in front of them, and they’d just stare down at me like,“Who’s going to clean up this mess??”
Give in, Warren.
Watch it burn.
In my mind, an image of flames flicker…A giant, scorching inferno.
The thought tickles the pit of my stomach, like the way it feels to be on my knees with a strange man’s skin slapping against mine. Like the way it feels when I watch droplets of my blood trickling out.
Release it…
Set it free.
Burn it down.
I’m in a trance, my mind buzzing in a hypnotic state as I drop my cigarette and wander slowly up the walkway, around to the back. On the patio, I find two cans of kerosene in the storage shed.
Mhm… This’ll work.
The house is dark and silent inside. The staff has gone home for the day, and my parents are likely deep in their liquor and Ambien comas.
Tiptoeing through each room, I leave a trail of pungent fumes in my wake, soaking kerosene into our expensive carpets and curtains, on the furniture. Upstairs, I peek into my bedroom. And though it’s been a long time, I can still see that first night, like billows of smoke in a clear sky…
In my bed, lying on my side, staring at the wall. The marks from my father’s belt were nearly healed. But each lash was still fresh in my mind.
