Page 87 of Fragments
“So, how was your day?” I ask him as we sit down, fully invested in watching his beautiful face.
I just love looking at him. I don’t even understand why, but the subtlest shifts in his facial expressions are captivating to me. I love the way his brows knit together when he’s confused, the way his mouth slopes down when he’s upset or worried. Even better is his smile, pillowy lips curving, the slightest indents on each side, like parenthesis for his mouth. And his eyes?Lord have mercy.They’re just the brightest, most beautiful color green I’ve ever seen. Like the sea glass from the Caribbean, or mint ice cream.
Fucking stunning.
“Eh.” He shrugs, picking up a dry chicken nugget. “Same shit, different day, right?”
I frown. “So, you’re not having fun?”
He laughs, and I’mswooning. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve had fun once since I’ve been here.”
Hearing those words is like a knife to the chest. “Really?” I gulp. “Not even once…?”
He peeks at me, his forehead lining. “Oh… I didn’t mean… Of course I have fun with you.” I blink at him, and he clears his throat. “You, Toby, Freeman… I love talking to you guys. I just meant, like, even the most fun thing we can do in here is pretty lame, ya know?”
My stomach is churning, between the despondence of knowing he’s right, the incessant need to make him happy and the frustration of this platonic fucking bubble we seem to be trapped in.
I’m all torn up over this kid, from every angle.
“Lex, I…” My voice begins quiet, but I force myself to remember the confidence I have with literallyeveryone elsein the world. “I want you to have fun.” His eyes widen a bit. “I don’t like the idea of you wasting away. You’re my… You’re very special to me. I’m gonna get you something cool. Don’t you worry.”
I place my hand on his back, rubbing gently. I feel like it’s totally friendly, but he stiffens, so I pull it away, even though I so badly want to keep touching him.
“Ren, don’t take this the wrong way…” he murmurs. “But I don’t like accepting gifts from you.”
My brow furrows. “Why not?”
“Because… we all know what you do to get that stuff.” His eyes flick to mine for a second. I can’t tell if he’s shaming me, or if he’s beating around the bush, trying to tell me he’s jealous without actually saying it.
That might be wishful thinking, but what’s the alternative?He’s calling me a slut??
“You mean, the same thing everyone does to get stuff in here?” I mutter, only slightly accusatory.
“You know what I mean,” he grumbles, picking at his food.
“No, I’m not sure I do…”
He sighs. “Yes, everyone does it, but you do it like…waymore.” A gasp of outrage leaves my lips, mouth hanging agape. “Look, I’m not judging…”
“It sure as shit sounds like you are,” I hiss.
“No, I’m not. I’m just saying, I don’t want you to feel like you have to do that stuff to get me things.” He turns his face, and I catch some emotions glistening in his jasper eyes.
I don’t know what they mean.He just confounds me so much, this kid.
“I know I don’t have to,” I tell him sincerely. “Iwantto. I mean, I want to give you things. I like giving you things.”
I’m fumbling. I can’t seem to get my point across right now. He’s got me all flustered.
I want to take care of you, Lexington.
The words are on the tip of my tongue, but I feel like saying them will scare him.I don’t think friends say stuff like that to each other…
“What if I want something so ridiculous, there’s no way you’d ever be able to get it?” He smirks, turning the heavy into light, the way onlyhecan.
It’s one of the things I love most about him.
“Don’t test my abilities,Luthor,” I sneer, leaning in closer. “What is this ridiculous thing you want, anyway?”
