Page 91 of Fragments
“Ren…” he tremors. “What are you doing??”
“I’m sorry,” I hum without an ounce of remorse in my tone. “I’ve just… wanted to do that for a while.”
“Okay, but we’re not…” He leans away from me. “I’m not gay.”
I nod, still staring at his mouth while I suck my bottom lip. “I know.”
“So you can’t justkissme,” he grunts, sounding like he wants to be pissed, but his voice isn’t cooperating. “Is this why you came in here??”
“Yea…” I sigh, reaching for his jaw.
Despite his protesting words, I pull him back for more, melting my lips onto his, a deeply blissful noise rumbling out of me from this magic sensation. He’s stiff, resisting because he’s scared, and confused, and I get it. Iunderstand, but I also know he’s not repulsed by me, or the feeling of my mouth. I know it for a fact, or he’d be fighting way harder to get me off him.
Still, when I give his bottom lip a tender suck, he yanks himself away.
“Ren!” he gasps, his hand on my chest holding me back. I can only imagine how lust drunk I must look right now. “You’ve gotta stop.”
I exhale steadily, frustration and need clawing at my insides. “I don’t want to make things weird, or confuse you. But I just think if youtriedit… If you let me show you how good it can feel—”
“That’s not gonna work,” he grumbles. “I can’t just pretend…” His voice trails, and something flashes over his face.
I wish I knew what he was thinking right now.
He looks anxious, confused and vulnerable, and I don’t want to be the one to do that to him. I want him towantto kiss me… I don’t want to be forcing myself on him like some kind of predator.
So as much as it fuckingkillsme, I move back, giving him some space.
“I’m so sorry, Lex.” I comb fingers through my short hair. “That was fucked up. I shouldn’t have done it.”
His lashes flutter as he stares at me, cheeks flushed. He looks somotherfucking good; I swear I could devour him like the sweet, timid little cupcake he is.
But I have to restrain myself. Ihaveto.
“Are you lying, Ren?” he whispers, watching me studiously.
In this moment, I hate that I’m so fucked up, and that he knows it. I hate that he sees me as a liar—rightfully so—and I hate that Idolie to him, even though I don’t want to.
I can’t help myself. It just happens.
My head wobbles. “I mean, it felt good kissing you just now.Reallyfucking good for me…” He shifts, clearing his throat. “But I am sorry that I lunged at you.” A little chuckle slips through, and he cracks a shy smile.
“You’re gonna fuck up our friendship, bro.” He purses his lips to keep it in check.
“It’s a risk I’m totally willing to take,” I growl, blinking hard.Down, boy.“Sorry. Again.”
“It’s okay, I guess,” he murmurs, and I’m just so floored.
Most straight guys would be punching me in the face right now, or at least trying to. But Lexington Deon isn’t most straight guys. He’s not even mostguys. He’s his own mesmerizing entity.
And in that spirit, I decide to be honest.
I know, shocking. Of course I’m stillme, so there are ulterior motives.
“Lex,” I croon his name, going for broke and touching his hand where it rests between us on the bed. “I just need to tell you that I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment I saw you.” I witness him swallow while he gives me a total deer-in-headlights look. “But I know you’re not into guys, and I don’t want you to hate me.”
He glances down at my hand covering his. “I… I mean, it wouldn’t exactly be fair to hate you for wanting to… kiss me.”
Pulling the thread a little more, I lace my fingers through his. And he doesn’t pull away.
