Page 109 of Phobia
Lobo
J. Dylan
Chapter 1
SILAS
Furgón, Illinois
October 24
The rustling sound of the trees in the gusting wind outside soothed my soul. It was my favorite time of day, early in the morning, just before the rest of the world wakes up. The dark of night was fading, losing the battle to the light of day. Cold and crisp, the weather of mid-autumn had arrived. The changing trees shook their leaves, covering my lawn in a patchwork blanket of orange, red and yellow leaves.
My eyes drifted to the dirt road dividing my side of the street from the forest of maples and pines across the way. Peering beyond the trees and into the depths of the woods, I lost myself for a while. I only snapped out of it when Ifelt slenderarms wrap around me. Fingers twirled through the hair on my chest. “Elle,” I muttered.
“Mornin’ baby. Why didn’t you wake me? I was hoping for a little morning fun,” she purred with a giggle.
Elle was a distraction. She was a good woman, but to me, she was more of a means to satisfy my cold bed. I met her at a bar one night downtown. That was before everything in my life imploded and I stopped leaving my house. Her shoulder length, wavy blonde hair caught my attention first. When I went to buy her a drink, she batted the long lashes shading her deep blue eyes and spoke softly. It was everything I needed at the time. Pretty eyes, and a calming voice. That was almost three years ago.
Elle’s the only woman I’ve been able to let in my house because she’s the only woman I was able to get to know before everything went down. It’s not that I’m not attracted to her, but she doesn’t know everything about me, which makes our entire relationship difficult. I’m always hiding a piece of me.
I had never intended to settle down with Elle. We went out a few times and that was all it was supposed to be. She’s never asked me why we only meet at my place, which made me think I was just a means for her too, honestly. The relationship, in my mind, had turned purely physical and it was past time to meet its end. She and I weren’t having dinners or dates anymore and we barely had conversation outside of the bed. She would come over and we satisfy our primal urges. Nothing more.
I rested my chin on my fist and went back to staring out the kitchen window, into the woods. My voice was distant when I finally said, “I woke up early. Really early. I came down and just enjoyed the silence. Halloween is in a week and so is the full moon.” She didn’t know what any of that meant to me.
After a short pause, she reached down and palmed my cock through my pants, pleading, “Come back to bed?” I turned around to face her. She caged me against the sink with her body. I brought my hand up to her face, staring into her oceanic eyes, feeling like I was searching for something. Maybe it was understanding? Maybe I wished she would ask me about why I never leave the house or showed an ounce of care about anything other than me fucking her brains out. I don’t know.
I watched her eyes go from mine to the pendant around my neck. When she reached to touch it, I grabbed her wrist. “Elle,” I said firmly.
Elle whined, “Silas. What’s the deal with that thing? You never let me look at it.”
“You can look all you’d like. I’d prefer you didn’t touch it. How many times do we need to go over this?” I paused before saying, “...and thanks for killing the mood with this shit.”
She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t kill the fucking mood, Silas. You did, over a stupid necklace.”
I nodded toward the door. “Well, I guess we’re done here then. You can go. I’ve got shit to do.”
Her arms dropped in unison with her jaw. “Are you serious right now? You’re kicking me out?”
“I’m tired, Elle. Yes, I’d like you to go. I don’t have the energy to argue with you today. Actually, I don’t have the energy to argue with you ever again.” My voice was even, not cruel, just matter of fact. We had carried the relationship as far as it would go, and I didn’t want to carry it anymore. I’d figure out another way to satisfy my…needs.
She crossed her arms over her chest. “What the hell does that mean? Are you breaking things off with me? Over a necklace, Silas?”
“It’s more than the pendant, Elle. I just think we’ve reached our expiration date. I’m not trying to be a dick here. I just…” Before I could finish, she brought her hand up and slapped me across the face. I closed my eyes, let out a deep breath, and then opened them and to stare at her. “Do you feel better?” I asked.
“Don’t fucking do this, Silas.” She tried to push me but I grabbed her wrists and spun us around, pinning her against the sink. She wiggled beneath me and jutted her chin out at me.
I asked her, “What do you want, Elle? You want to roleplay angry fuck sessions to satisfy your kink again?” It was always the same. She would get mad at me, then I’d act like I didn’t care, only it wasn’t an act, and then she’d keep pushing and pushing until we were fucking the anger and frustration out of each other.
Elle’s eyes fell to the floor as she whispered, “Let me go, Silas.” I let her wrists go and took a step back. She snapped her hands up to her top to pull it closed and cover herself as she marched off. I could hear her upstairs, stomping around as she gathered her shit. Before I knew it, she was back downstairs, pulling her boots on. She grabbed her purse, walked toward me and said, “You’re a coward, you know that?”
I nodded. “Yep. I know that. Anything else?”
“So, this is it? We’re done?”
“Yes, Elle. We’re done.”
“Dick.” Then she turned and walked out the front door, slamming it behind her.
