Page 226 of Phobia
Really just throwing all your cards on the table, huh, Julesy boy?
Asa stares at me for a moment, gray eyes twinkling the way the stars are above our heads. He looks beyond anxious, unsure, like maybe he’s too nice to politely decline and tell me he’s straight.
But then his eyes fall to my mouth.
I pull my lip ring with my teeth, keyed up and ready to explode. My hand reaches forward, fingers ghosting over his.
He blinks. Hard, shaking his head a little. Then he backs up, stumbling away to put distance between us.
“I… I’m sorry, Jules,” he grumbles, fisting his hair. “It’s late. I should… I should go.” My mouth opens, rejection stinging in my chest. But he’s already racing to get back inside his trailer. “Goodnight. Thanks for the walk… It was… Okay, bye.”
“Okay… good—” The door to his trailer slams before I can even finish sighing, “night.”
Well, so much for that idea. He’s clearly straight. Or a total drug addict. Or both.
Puttering back inside, I’m wallowing just a tad. I really had an amazing time with him tonight. He’s so easy to talk to. We have a lot in common… And a lotnotin common. I like that. Keeps things interesting.
But there’s obviously something off about him, which is wild because I’ve never been one to crush on broken boys. Maybe that’s part of what’s drawing me to Asa… The fact that he’s so unlike all the jocks I’ve hooked up with.
Either way, it’s probably not going to happen. I should just prepare myself for curt nods and politehey’sfrom now on.
Meandering around the trailer, I decide to take a shower. Another adjustment… Going from living in an actualhouseto this tiny thing. I can’t believe how small the shower is. I guess it saves on water because you don’t want to be in there for one-second more than you need to.
I come out about fifteen minutes later with a towel around my waist, shuffling into my bedroom. Pulling out my yellow briefs with the pineapples on them, I toss them onto my bed, heading for the mirror. I stare at myself for a few seconds, taking in a deep breath.
Releasing it, I practice reciting the lines I memorized last year…
“All that glitters is not gold. Often have you heard, that told… Many a man hislifehath sold. But my outside to behold. Gilded tombs do worms enfold. Had you been aswiseas bold? Young in limbs, in judgment old… Your answer had not been inscroll’d. Fare you well… your suit is… cold.”
My projection of voicing the words fromMerchant of Venicetrails when my eyes slide right.
Huh…
How did I never notice that my window looks right into Asa’s trailer?
The light is on in the room, and I’m not even sure how, but I can justfeelthat it’s his room.
Does Asa’s bedroom window look directly into mine??
Suddenly, he steps into view, strolling past the window, shirt off once more. My heart is racing fast, in a split second, just from seeing him again. In his bedroom…
While I’m standing in mine, in nothing but a towel.
I guess I never paid attention until now, since before today, I wasn’t sure who lived in that trailer. But now that I know it’sAsa—the hot, blue-haired oddball I’m inconveniently crushing on—it’s impossible to ignore.
His back is to me, giving me time to appreciate the fuck out of his butt in those gray sweatpants. I bite down on the inside of my cheek, becausedamn…That ass.
Fuckin scrumptious.
He grabs something from his nightstand—it looks like a pill bottle—opens it and dumps some into his mouth. I’m just standing here, staring. Rationalizing.
It doesn’t mean he’s a drug addict. Those could be prescribed to him… For anxiety, or something.
Really, it’s none of my fucking business.
That said, he doesn’t look like he’s going to sleep at all. In fact, he’s kind of pacing around in a circle. Looking stressed out, fisting his blue hair and gently smacking himself on the cheek.
Then he stops his bizarre movements. And slowly peeks in my direction.
