Page 237 of Phobia
Chapter 5
There isnothingmore satisfying than this…
Fooling around with someone hot, then falling asleep cuddling. Lulled by the post-coital serenity filling all your muscles.
It’s like being in one of those sleep pods.
My head tucked into the crook of Asa’s neck, I’m breathing in his intoxicating scent. His pulse is on my cheek, slowed way down. This is definitely the calmest he’s been since I’ve known him. For the first time, he isn’t twitching or wiggling or shaking.
I think he’s actually asleep.
A smile passes over my lips.I did that.
Irelaxed him. I got to give him his first gay experience, and now we’re snuggling and everything is right with the world.
I could get used to this.
“No!”
I startle, jumping so fast my head hits his chin. But he’s already up.Divingoff the couch.
My tranquility is smashed to bits. In a flash, I’m terrified, heart slamming in my chest while I watch with wide eyes as he stumbles around the living room, smacking himself in the face.
“No! No no no, please.No…” His shouts turn to whimpers, and suddenly he’s crying.
He’s actually fuckingcrying. After screaming bloody murder in my face and springing up like a Jack in the box.
Asa trips over his own feet, crashing into the coffee table and landing on his ass on the floor.
“Asa, what the fuck?!” I whisper-shout at him.
“Don’t let it take me,please, don’t let it take me,” he sobs, tears streaming down his cheeks.
He’s in the midst of a full-blown attack of some kind, and I’m as concerned as I am horrified.
“Asa, please be quiet.” I hop off the couch and crawl to him on the floor. “Please, you’ll wake up my mom. What’s wrong? Hey… you wanna tell me what’s wrong?”
I grab his face, but he smacks my hand away. “You let me fall…” He sniffles, choking on his own words and the ragged breaths he’s crying them on. “You l-let me…”
“Let you what??” I go for his face again, and this time he doesn’t stop me. He won’t look me in the eye, but I’m just trying to calm him down a little, thumbs brushing his tears away. “You didn’t fall, Asa, you were right there on the couch with me.”
“I c-can’t,” he stammers, sucking in air and holding onto it. His entire body is shivering like he’s freezing. He seems scared shitless, but I have no clue ofwhat. “I just…can’t, Jules.”
“Can’twhat??” He starts trying to squirm away from me, but I hold him still. “Asa, just relax. Calm down for me, okay? You’re freaking me out…”
“I can’tcalm down!” He roars in my face, and I flinch.
I back up slowly, because now I’m afraid that he might attack me. He could be Schizophrenic, or on some crazy drug like PCP for all I know.
Because I don’t reallyknowhim at all.
He stares at me, chest pumping while he blinks, rubbing his eyes.
“What the fuck, Asa…” I whisper.
“I’m sorry…” he rasps, yanking his hair in his fists. His shoulders slump, head falling forward as he covers it with his arms. “I’m so sorry, Jules…” He sniffles. “I’m not going to hurt you, okay?”
Swallowing hard, I gawk at him with unease rippling in my chest. I should kick his ass out and never give him a second thought.
