Page 238 of Phobia
But clearly I’m not very bright. Because I like him… A lot.
I think I’ve been liking him more and more each day since I met him, and now that we just fooled around, I feel this crazy magnetism. Like a gravitational pull, holding me to him.
I’ve never felt this for anyone I’ve hooked up with before.
Just watching him now, seeing him sad and broken, is tearing me to shreds.
Hesitantly reaching forward, I brush his blue hair back with my fingers. “I know.”
His face lifts, stormy gray eyes glistening at me. “You do?”
I nod, conveying exactly as much certainty as I can muster, which isn’t all that much. “Can you just… tell me what’s going on? Please?”
Asa’s dark lashes flutter at my face, brows zipped in such extreme duress, he looks devastated. But there’s a twinkle of fascination in there. Disbelief, as if he can’t fathom that I’m not dragging him out of here by his hair.
His lips part, but before he can say anything, I hear my mom’s bedroom door open.
“Shit…” I mumble, scrambling to my feet.
“Julian?? Are you out there?” She calls from the hall. “I heard shouting…”
“Yea, Mom, I’m here.” I rush over to her. She can barely walk without her cane, and when she gets up from lying down or sitting for a while, she can be especially shaky. I grab her by the waist, trying to turn her around to go back into her room. “Everything’s fine, we were just watching a movie and it got loud for a second. I’m sorry to wake you.”
She gives me a look, and I hold my breath, trying to act as normal as possible, hoping like hell she won’t notice how disheveled I am. Or that my pants are unbuttoned.
“Who’s we?” She asks softly, peering into the living room.
I turn over my shoulder, but I don’t see Asa. “It’s um, my friend. Asa. From next door, remember? I told you we were gonna hang out…”
“Right,” she sighs, allowing me to walk her back to bed. “Okay, well, just be careful…”
“We’re just watching a movie, Mom.” I force out a chuckle. “But I’ll turn it way down, I promise.”
“Thanks, sweetheart.” She pinches my cheek.
I get her settled in bed, closing her door with a breath of relief before I tiptoe back into the living room. But when I get there… No blue-haired boy.
He’s gone.
He just left…? Without a word??
Part of me wants to run outside and go after him. Demand that he tell me what the hell that was just now. But also I know that’s clingy, and crazy. He clearly has issues, and what Ineedto do is just leave him alone.
I’ve known from day one something was off about him, but I kept following him around anyway… Chasing after him, luring him into these sexual situations when he clearly isn’t well.
Plopping down onto the couch with a sigh, I feel weighted by gloom. I don’t even have his number to text him. That’s how little I know this person.
I don’t know his last name, or his birthday, or where his family is…
I don’t know what’s wrong with him.
All of these things I don’t know should be trumping the only thing I do…
That I think I’m starting to feel something for the kid with the blue hair and the stormy eyes. Something inconvenient, that’s most likely going to cause me pain.
***
I’m exhausted this morning. I couldn’t sleep a wink, tossing and turning all night, thinking about Asa, and his crazy outburst in my living room.
