Page 242 of Phobia
Leaning in slowly, I catch his lashes fluttering. “Is it okay if I kiss you…?”
He nods quick, and hums, “I really don’t give a flying fuck right now.Pleasekiss me.”
That’s all I need to hear.
Grasping his jaw, I pull his lips to mine and kiss him softly. Greedily, hungry and laced with complex feelings I don’t understand. But I try to keep it soft, and brief, knowing we’re outside of his job and in public, not that there’s anyone around. The place is dead.
“I really like you, Asa,” I whisper into his mouth while he shivers for me. “I’m sorry that you deal with… what you deal with.”
“Thank you,” he mumbles, hands running from my chest up to my neck to keep me in place while we kiss some more.
Finally, we force ourselves apart, breathing and touching and gazing at each other like two swooning idiots.
“I should get back,” he says, though he’s not letting go of my hand.
“What time do you get off?”
“In like forty-five minutes,” he chuckles.
“I’ll wait for you. Give you a ride home.”
He looks positively swept away. “Really? You don’t have to…”
“I know I don’thaveto.” I grin, pecking him on the cheek.
We both get up, parting ways. Asa goes inside, and I sit in the truck with my mind running a mile a minute. I’m so deep in my thoughts that it feels like only five minutes have passed by the time Asa is waltzing back outside and hopping into my truck.
He takes my hand, and holds it the entire drive home. But we don’t say a word. There’s too much going on. Too many hectic thoughts, and new emotions. It’s a lot to process all at once.
But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t floating in a cloud. Just being near him… I don’t know, it feelsright. Even knowing he has some serious issues, I can’t help but want to keep spending time with him. Keep fooling around, because that was electric, and we’ve only just started. But also maybe help him overcome whatever’s bothering him.
I’m not saying I think it’s something I could even do, but I’d like to try. Or at least just be there for him…
Oh, Asa Kingston… What have you done to me?
Parked in front of my house, I turn to face him, wondering what happens next. He looks troubled, and I just wish I knew what was going on in his head.
“How come you don’t use that car to drive to work?” I ask, hoping to open him up a little.
“It’s my sister’s,” he sniffs.
“Is she… around?” My tone is inquisitive, rather than prying. “Come to think of it, I haven’t seen her… At least, I don’t think I have.”
Asa swallows visibly. “No. She isn’t around… And honestly, I’m more than concerned now.” He pauses to chew on his lower lip. “She’s um… she has a substance abuse problem. It’s been getting worse over the years, but I figure it’s not really my place to say anything since ya know… I have some problems myself. I mean, I take way more Adderall than I’m supposed to…” He peeks at me. “But it’s just to stay awake.”
I shrug. “I don’t judge. I’ve definitely done some shit.”
He cracks a small smile. But it falls off quick. “Lena’s addiction is pretty bad. Sometimes she disappears for days on end, and I’m always worried out of my mind. She’s the only family I’ve got.”
I nod, understanding. I definitely get where he’s coming from. My mom is my only family, and if anything happened to her, I’m not sure what I’d do. But Iamsure it wouldn’t be good.
“Do you mind me asking what happened to your parents?” I run my thumb over the top of his hand.
“They took off,” he mumbles, quietly. Soft, almost childlike. “Lena and I were teenagers. One night, I woke up to some commotion. I went to find my sister, and she was panicked as hell… She was bleeding. I guess my dad had hit her, and my mom. They were big drinkers, my parents… Anyway, Lena put me in the car and drove me to a friend’s house, to keep me safe… And after that, my parents were gone. My dad took my mom and they just left. Left Lena alone to take care of me. I went to sleep with parents and woke up without them…”
Asa turns his face to stare out the window, at his trailer. I feelawful. My heart is splitting in two for the kid. At least I never knew my dad. So I didn’t have to deal with getting to know him them losing him.
“It’s just me and Lena. Us against the world, ya know?” He says. “That’s why I can’t stand knowing that I let her disappear…”
