Page 343 of Phobia
After lunch, he simply takes my hand and mutters, “Stay close to me, my darling.” I clasp his warm dry hand. So big, my own is lost within his grasp.
We enter the vanity downstairs, and he gives me one last look over his shoulder. “It's dark down there. You must be brave, my love.”
I bite my lip. The sudden urge to back out is right there. Dee gives my hand a gentle squeeze and I realize he's tucking me forward, to walk ahead of him. His hands clasp my shoulders, and his heat blankets my back as he murmurs in my hair, “I'm right here.”
He reaches over my shoulder and presses one of the artfully installed panels on the wall. The seemingly plain stone shape sinks further in.
At first, nothing happens, but then thirty seconds later, the whole wall sinks in and slides to the left. I see nothing but thick, pulsating blackness and stiffen immediately. Dee says nothing. He simply takes a step forward, forcing me to move with him.
My knees threaten to go slack. My heart is hammering away. The darkness looks thick and palpable, a vibrating living beast, waiting to sink his teeth into my flesh. I immediately think about my skin tearing.I can vividly see my blood pooling at my feet. My stomach clenches, and I feel nauseated, experiencing the phantom pain this attack would cause me. I feel its claws digging into my hips and tearing at the skin of my back. I am convinced I can hear the beast panting. Any moment now, he will sink his claws into my belly and gut me, tearing my soft insides, and painting the walls with my blood. No one can save me. There is no one who can protect me.
Dee is still moving forward. Another step.And another. Why isn’t he stopping? Can’t he see I’m losing my mind?
Stop! Stop! Please, stop!
I can’t force the words out of my mouth. I can’t even breathe properly. I can’t summon the strength to dig my heels into the ground and put an end to this morbid walk we’re on.
I lose my footing, but before I plunge headfirst into my gruesome fate, his strong arms grab me. He picks me up bridal style and kisses my forehead.
“You were very brave, my love. I’m so proud of you.”
I can't speak. My teeth chatter so hard, I can feel the faint taste of blood in my mouth. I feel sick, thinking I will bite my own tongue off and I imagine the pain vividly. I think there is more blood. Oh, God.
I whimper in his arms and cry out some pitiful sounds, as he tucks me closer to his chest kissing my forehead. “Shhh, you’re safe, darling. I won't let anything hurt you. Never again.”
I want to say his words bring me comfort, but that's a lie. I want to be in control of my body enough to look at him, to simply tilt my chin up and meet his reassuring eyes, but I’m not capable of any of those things.
A familiar clicking sound worms its way into my ears.
The darkness retreats as we descend into some passage illuminated by yellowing bulbs. The further we go, the brighter the passage becomes as the lights seem to be activated by a motion sensor. Delorean confidently keeps walking, and as my breathing calms, I am beyond embarrassed.What kind of mate am I to be? A pathetic coward? A blabbering mess?
He is so patient and kind. I'm not deserving of him. Not one bit. Yet, I cling to him, now that the feeling in my limbs is slowly returning, absolutely determined to never let him go. To please him in every way he so desires. To try my best and make myself worthy of him.
He senses I’m coming back in control of my body and gently brings me to my feet.
“We’re almost there, my love,” he whispers in my ear and kisses my neck, his soft warm lips caressing my skin gently.
The passage ahead is illuminated by low-hanging lights. Some flicker briefly making my heart race, wondering what will happen to me if we’re suddenly plunged into darkness, deep underground. I take a deep breath to calm myself.
Delorean would never do that to me. I chance a look at my lover, but his eyes are gazing straight forward. He looks dazed and in awe. I follow his line of vision, and yet again my breath is stolen from me.
The entrance of the crypt is a gorgeous mural, carved in stone. It appears to be one giant rectangular slab, about seven feet high and nine feet long. How did he even get that here?
I look at Delorean, completely amazed by his ability to bend the most impossible of circumstances to his will. Thus far, it seems my lover always follows through with his visions, bringing them to fruition, no matter the cost or the effort.
The angels from the skies above peeking through the clouds and looking down on a small boy, his head tucked to his knees, his face hidden from the world. They look like they’re crying out in warning, reaching for him to steal him away from his troubles. But they, just like the boy carved of stone are unmoving and forever sealed in time – never reaching him, never able to bring him to safety. And he, forever locked in the solid material, awaiting the horrors that pursue him.
We stand still, admiring this masterpiece. The detail is exquisite, down to the furrowed brows of the angels and their mouths gaping in horror. Dee takes my hand and brings it to his lips, kissing the tips of my fingers, my knuckles, and the inside of my wrist. His eyes are warm on my face, making my heart flutter and free itself from fear.
“For you, my love,” he says, his voice dripping with emotion.
I am speechless.
My emotions take the lead and as I step forward, Delorean allows my hand to slip from his and awaits calmly for me to thoroughly enjoy his gift. I look at him over my shoulder as I take another step forward. My lover is beaming with pride.
I face the mural. Only two feet part me from the boy hiding his face. I reach for him and hope he will accept my warmth. I’ve been this boy my entire life – helping hands just out of reach, alone in my suffering.
But he isn’t me. This boy…as my fingers glide over the delicately carved shell of his ear, it dawns on me – this innocent is Delorean.
