Page 40 of Phobia
“Ok, ok. Moving on from the truth shit. Who wants to do a dare?” another girl asked, rubbing her hands together mischievously.
“Me!” Cody said, his hand shooting up into the air. “Bring it on.”
“Ok,” the girl said slyly. “I dare you to kiss… him.” Her index finger swooped around the circle until she ended, pointing at me. While I wasn’t exactly out and proud, I wasn’t totally in the closet either. But I guess in a circle of former jocks, I stuck out like a sore thumb as the obvious “other.”
“I’ll pass,” I said quickly, throwing an apologetic look toward Cody. “No offense. You’re not my type.”
“Kiss him, kiss him, kiss him,” the girl chanted, banging her plastic cup on the coffee table until other people joined in.
“Oh, come on,” Larkin groaned. “What is this, high school? Show us the most embarrassing picture on your phone, bro. And no cheating.”
“Dare’s a dare, man,” Cody said, standing slowly and spreading his hands. “Come here, pretty boy.”
“I don’t fucking think so.” Larkin was on his feet so fast I barely had time to blink. I shot to mine as well, fisting a handful of Larkin’s shirt between his shoulder blades before he could lunge across the narrow space.
“It’s not worth it,” I said quietly.
“What’s your fucking problem?” Cody asked, squaring off with Larkin.
“You’ve had too much to drink and you’re being a fucking dick,” Larkin shot back. “You want to get the chapter shut down by harassing people at parties?”
“Give me a fucking break! You’re just afraid your little boy toy might get off on it,” Cody said, shooting me a nasty look.
“The fuck you call him?” If it was possible, Larkin got even bigger, rolling his shoulders back and broadening his stance like he was about to wrestle a bear—which wasn’t far off from how big Cody was. Pretty sure I remembered hearing that he’d been a linebacker in high school and could have made a career out of it if he hadn’t blown his knee out. Larkin played football too, but Cody was still bigger, especially now that most of his muscle had gone soft and unused.
“Your little boy toy,” Cody repeated with a sneer. “Because everyone in this house sees how you two fucking look at each other, like you can’t wait to slobber all over each other’s dicks the second you get upstairs.”
“One problem with your theory, Einstein. I’m not a fucking fag,” Larkin snapped.
A wince shot across my face before I could stop it. I knew Larkin didn’t mean it and I knew he didn’t have problems with gay people, considering he’d spent most of his teen years coming to my defense from guys just like Cody. But it didn’t take away the sting as that word sliced through the middle of me.
Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, Larkin turned, his lips parted like he wanted to say something else over the chorus of “Oohs” and nervous laughter.
I shook my head, warding off his apology, and swallowed the wave of unease roiling up the back of my throat.
“Let’s get out of here,” Larkin said quietly. Without waiting for me to say anything, he physically turned me around and steered me toward the door. His hand didn’t leave the small of my back until we were through the front door and heading down the porch stairs.
Alone in the circle of light by the lamppost out front, Larkin pulled me to a halt again, his brown eyes glassy. “Jame, I—”
“You don’t have to say anything,” I said quickly, holding up a hand for effect.
“It’s not like that,” he whispered. “You know it’s not.”
“Then what’s it like, Lark? You fucking kiss me and jack me off and everything else but God forbid anyone thinks you’re a fag.”
It was his turn to wince, squeezing his eyes shut like he was in physical pain. “Don’t say that word.”
“Why? Isfagsuddenly offensive to you? Well, if it’s so bad, why the fuck did you just say it?”
When he opened his eyes, they were even glassier—except it wasn’t the alcohol. They were filled with tears. “Stop saying it. Please. Please, don’t say it anymore.”
I was struck by the plea in his voice, the desperate agony. This was more than his grandma’s religious guilt weighing on him. Something else had happened, but I had no idea what. In front of Cody, for that split second, it was like he was a completely different person. Now the real Larkin was in front of me again and I was trying to reconcile the two of them.
“Will you tell me why?” I asked.
He shook his head, looking down at his feet, the muscles in his jaw flexing.
“Did something happen in New Mexico?” I ventured quietly.
