Page 126 of Shadowman
What are they going to… do to him?
Leaning up against the wall, I cringe as the fucker in my peripheral throws my stuff all over the place.
This is too much… What the hell is going on??
My mind races, sifting through scattered thoughts like attempting to clean up a giant mess—which I’m sure I’ll be doing as soon as this asshole leaves.
I’m not made of stone. Despite how pissed I was in the rec room, Idostill care about Luthor and Ren. I brought up some shit down there that will undoubtedly be festering in their minds for a while, and I feel guilty about that…
Parker, for one. Luthor’s lost cellmates, for another.
I’m really not trying to second-guess myself here. I said what had to be said. But now that our safety is uncertain, it’s bringing on a wave of regret for the way I yelled at them not twenty minutes ago.
When the big douchebag has sufficiently destroyed most of my stuff, he leaves. Just fucking stomps off, slamming the bars behind him. Leaving me cuffed inside my cell, without a damn clue how I’m supposed to Houdini my way out of them to take a piss or sleep comfortably.
Prisoners are shouting these same sentiments from all angles, so at least I’m not alone. But it doesn’t make me feel better. Because my nervous bladder is acting up, and I kinda have to pee.
Pacing in a small circle, on the only part of floor that isn’t covered in junk, I attempt to block out the noise of these new fuckingguards,abusing inmates, tearing things to shreds… Terrorizing the halls, and doing so with limited words, and deadexpressions. Most alarmingly of all, they’re doing it right in front of Velle and his team.
And Velle’s paralyzed to stop it.
“Kang?!” The yelp breaks through it all, my name being called from up the row. I stop dead in my tracks. “I’m sorry! I never meant to hurt you!”
My legs give out, and I crash into a pile of clothes and broken plastic.
“You’re so important to me,” Luthor keeps shouting, fear and emotion trembling his words. But he says them anyway, because he wants me to listen. “You gotta know that!”
My face drops into my hands, heart splitting in half.
He sounds scared… My best fucking friend, man…
I swear to God, I can’t…
Emotion is welling behind my eyes. Luthor is the smart one, the rational one. I think he knows we might not see each other for a while after this.
So he’s shouting his feelings up the goddamn hall for me to hear.
A broken whimper climbs up my throat, and I push my trembling lips together to stop it from getting out.
Iwantto respond, I know I do. To yell out that I forgive him, and I’m sorry for what I said. That I don’t hate him, and I never could. Things got a little fucked up, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love him like a brother, because Idoand I always will.
But I don’t. I can’t… My vocal cords just won’t work.
There’s something seriously wrong with me.Why can’t I speak up?? Be honest about what’s in my heart to the people who matter…?
The secrets I hold are starting to feel like adisease, infecting my emotional state from all sides. It’s not healthy, keeping so much inside that I eventually burst and need to either hurt someone or myself.
I might be detrimentally broken.
The uproar eventually fades off into the night. But I stay seated on the floor, among the ruins of stuff that doesn’t mean dick compared to the shattered remains of whatshouldhave been an unbreakable friendship.
It’s been at least a full day since the new regime showed up, and I still don’t know what to think, other than that, against all reasoning, Alabaster Pen has somehow become evenmoreunpredictable.
For hours, we were all left cuffed inside our cells, surrounded by the mess those dickless fucks made for no goddamn reason. No food, no showers. Just noise, in and out of my head.
Eventually, some oafish prick came by to remove my cuffs, and thankfully, it was before I was forced to piss my pants. But that was probably twelve hours ago, and we’ve all been in our cells ever since.
Sure, I’m starving and dirty, but more than either of those things, I want fucking answers.
