Page 20 of Shadowman
Either way, graduating was quite the feat, since I wasn’t that into school. I like to learn, but the physical act of being in class wasn’t for me. By the end, I was doing most of my classes online.
Mulling over what to do next, I took a job delivering for DoorDash. I had a Kawasaki Ninja street bike that was my pride and joy—his name wasRaphael, after my favorite Ninja Turtle—so I figured the delivery thing was a no-brainer. An easy way to make my own money while I was still living with my parents, to rely on them as little as possible.
Any time spent out of the house was a good thing too… Avoiding their constant lectures was in my best interest.
My sister, Jaelyn, had gotten married the year before and moved back to Seoul with her husband. The way my parents had practically thrown her a parade for something as simple and stupid asfalling in lovewas a constant point of inner contention for me. I just didn’t understand why getting married and settling down was such a big deal.
That’s not to say I was abacheloror anything. I rarely dated, and sure, when I did, it was mostly casual. But it’s not like I was some out-of-control horn-dog, sleeping around all the livelong day. As far as my parents were concerned, if I didn’t bring a girl home to meet them as a potential future bride, it wasn’t worth knowing about.
Just another thing that made me feel unseen in their eyes.
To my father, it was all about legacy.Familymeant carrying on our name, as some self-appeasing form of immortality. I didn’t care about carrying on our name, though, nor did I care about having someone to come home to. I couldn’t see liking anyone enough to share my life with them, because my life wasmineand mine alone.
And yet, because I’m aperson, not a robot, they’d somehow gotten under my skin. I’d steadily begun to wonder about companionship.Partnership.I wondered if there was anyone out there I might mesh well enough with to sustain an actual relationship… Or at least enough to bring home and present as my girlfriend.
Maybe then my parents would seemeas a real person. Maybe then I mightexistto them.
The first time I saw Rey was at the restaurant where she worked. This Korean place called Red Bird. I went in to pick up someone’s takeout order, and she was up at the hostess stand, on the phone.
I think noticing her was inevitable. I’m sure a lot of people noticed her… She was absolutely stunning. Bronzed complexion, light brown hair all silky smooth and running down her shoulders. She had gorgeous eyes, with long, dark lashes—possibly fake, but who cares—and full lips, glossed over and sparkly.
Still, I think what inevitably hooked me was her smile…
She had the phone wedged between her ear and shoulder while she tapped the screen of an iPad, most likely taking a customer’s order. I stepped up to where the bags of takeout were sitting, checking for mine. But all the while, I couldn’t stop watching her.
She was clearly busy, and I felt a bit like a weirdo just standing there, staring at her, out in the open. I had no problemwatching people; we know this. But I preferred to do it from somewhere they couldn’tsee me.
I felt vulnerable. And I didn’t know how to process it. I grabbed the bag of food, ready to get the hell out of there. But then, the girl glanced at me. Her eyes popped up from the iPad screen. They locked with mine.
And she smiled.
It was bright, luminous, and just forme. There was no one else around… At least, no one close enough that I could be mistaking their smile for my own.
She was smiling atme, in a way that felt flirtatious. Interested.
Maybe it could be her…I thought.Maybe she could fill the void.
Time sped back up, and I forced myself to turn away and leave. Because when you’re like me, you don’t just ask a pretty girl out the first time she smiles at you. That’s foolhardy. That’s like buying electronics without reading the reviews first, or moving to a city before you’ve even visited.
No, no.That was too far out of my comfort-zone.
Instead, I finished out the rest of my deliveries, went back to Red Bird, and just watched.
I spent about a week watching the girl—from across the street, or around the corner. I drove up and down that block more times than I could even count, just to catch a glimpse ofRey. I got to know her from afar, and once I felt confident enough, I began inching in closer.
Sometimes I would follow her to Starbucks, or to the park on her breaks. I listened to a lot of her conversations—that’s how I found out she lived alone. And naturally, the next thing I knew, I was following her home.
Like I said, I’m not offended by the S-word.
I know what you’re thinking…“But Byron, how will you ever know if someone wants you around if you don’t let themknowyou’re there?”
That’s part of this story. We’ll get there.
Weeks of following Rey around had led me to believe that she could be my perfect mate. She was just the right combination of introverted extrovert. She wasn’t a wild party girl, but she knew how to have fun. She was sweet and caring, but also tough when she needed to be. She would bring leftovers from the restaurant to the homeless people up the block and stop to give tourists directions. At the same time, she had no problem cursing people out when the situation called for it and flipping them off in the typical New Yorker,I’m walking here!fashion.
She was a beautiful, independent woman who might enjoy some male attention—whenshewants it, of course. And the cherry on top was that she was Korean.See, Mom and Dad?? I listen.
I was smitten already; a great spot to be in before your first date even happens. All I had to do was decide on how to make first contact.
