Page 201 of Shadowman
I’ve seen Luthor sad before, more often than I wish I had. But there’s a new level of misery in this… Because unlike those other times, now we’re moving in opposite directions.
Our eyes meet as we pass one another, the silence seeming to stretch and warp the air of the dank hallway. It lasts only a few seconds, but the sorrow in his luminous gaze still manages to slice me deep. Not anger, nor malice.
Just brilliant green regret.
I’m…
Luthor, I’m…
My lips are parted, but it’s too late. He’s already gone.
Not that it would matter…We can’t fucking speak anyway.
I’m up in my thoughts the entire time we’re showering. Being in here, just like everything else, is so different now. I can’t lie and say I don’t enjoy showering with Trevel—it’s sinfully satisfying in the best fucking way. But being in this spotnow, where so much of our time was spent over the years, attacks my heart with longing for the way thingswere…
The way Ren used to fuck around, always flirting and messing with us. How Luthor used to scold him and pretend he didn’t like it.I guess we both secretly did.
Imissit. I miss Joy’s sarcasm and quick wit, Rook’s kindness and empathy, and the giant douchebag himself… Believe it or not, I actuallymissJohn Chevelle. His loud barking orders, and his cocky abrasive tendencies, but most of all, his stability. I miss being able to count on him. Whether it was good or bad, he was always there.
And now he’s gone. They all are.
Technically, they’re stillhere. They’re no longer a part of everyday life in this life sentence.
Jasper, Hancock, Peters… Hell, even Linetti and Brenner. I haven’t seen them in weeks, and it’s fucking crazy, but I miss them all. To get so used to people at the forefront, only for them to fade into the background, is jarring.No wonder people hate change so much… It sucks.
I just hope they’re finding some way to get by, too.
On our way back, Equino stops us before we can enter the row.
“Jefe says you’re to see the doctor,” he grumbles at Trevel.
Trevel looks surprised. I can practically hear him thinking,Right now??But he covers it up quickly and nods. “Fine. But he’s coming with me.” He juts his thumb in my direction.
Equino glares at him for a moment, but eventually concedes with a curt purse of his lips. He glances up at the camera, then back to us. “Bueno. Just don’t forget… They’ll be watching.”
“Yea, yea.Big Brother.We got it,” Trevel mumbles, tugging me along.
We move through the corridors, heading in the direction of the East Wing. Since Trevel walks around here nonstop, he’s apparently found some shortcuts he likes. And as seems to be my default lately, I’m just following his lead.
“Isn’t it weird to be coming down here so late?” I ask, sort of thinking out loud. “Something seems… off.”
“I’ll say,” Trevel glances around. “Do you hear that?”
We stop walking for a moment and listen. He’s right. The winds are whipping outside, an audible storm raging just beyond the walls.
“Shit…” I murmur. “I wonder if we’ll lose power like last time.”
“Hmm… Right,” he grumbles, giving me the side-eye. “Last time.”
“What’s your problem?” I grunt, noting a darkness in his purple eyes, and a sudden intensity framing his features.
“Nothing,” he bites out. But doesn’t elaborate.As usual.
I cantellhe wants to say something, but he always forces himself not to. I can’t say it’s not annoying, because it definitely is. I’ve given him as much information as you can give a person.
If he refuses to do the same for me, then fuck it. I’m not gonna beg.
I guess he doesn’t trust me… The way I trust him, despite him doing very little to actually earn it.
