Page 260 of Shadowman
“Okay,fine. You’re right. Is that what you want me to say??” He gets up in my face. “At first, I wanted to make Darcey pay for what he did… But can’t you see by now that it’s pointless?? Vengeance doesn’tsolveanything, Trevel! It doesn’t change the past, and it sure as shit won’t make you feel any better about the future!” His chest is heaving, and I’m just staring at him blankly.Refusingto admit that I feel his words. “When does it end…?”
“Itendswhen they stop breathing!” I hiss at him. “You have noideathe kinds of things I’ve had to endure… The kinds ofthings I’ve had tolive withbecause of other people, so don’t tell me revenge is pointless! It’sallI have, Byron.”
His fury melts into sorrow so fast that I witness it. The anger in his gaze softening, slipping into vast, shining sadness.
“You’re right.” His shoulders slump. “I don’t know what you’ve been through… Because I don’t have a damn clue who you are.”
His brown eyes glisten, and they fall to hide the emotion. That one look slices me open.
It stabs me, poisons me, chokes me…
Itkills methe way I’ve done to others.Revenge.
Reaching for him, I mumble, “Baby, I didn’t mean—”
“You’re right, Trevel.” He pulls away. “Revenge is all you have left…” He sniffles, refusing to look at me. Then he grunts, “This is done.” His voice is shaking, though he’s fighting to disguise it. Putting up a wall between us. My heart is bleeding out in my chest. “Whatever we were… It’s over.”
And then he walks out.
Turns and storms away from me. He fuckingleaves me,in the tombs with my vengeance. And nothing more.
Emotion pounds in my skull, so hard I can barely see. My vision is blurring, tears welling in my eyes.
I look around for Leo… But he’s not fucking there.
“You’re your own worst enemy, Trevel,” Dr. Love says.
Like dropping a match into a pool of kerosene, I ignite in blazing wrath.
Storming over, I launch myself at him. Shoving him onto his back, my hands are immediately around his throat.
“You think I don’t know that?!” I roar in his face. “This is allyour fault!”
“How do you figure?” He chokes a laugh that boils rage in my bloodstream, so thick it’s visceral.
“All you had to do was stay,” I seethe. “But youchoseto come here, because you’re just as sick as the rest of us! You’re a bloodyjunkiefor this shit… The depraved and the twisted. The darkness you study sets your blood on fire, doesn’t it,Doctor??” I’m shaking as my grip tightens around his neck. “You brought this on yourself! You were too cocky, and now you’re paying the price. So whyshouldn’tit be me, huh?? Why shouldn’tIbe the one to make you suffer??”
He simply gazes up at me, as stone-faced as ever. It’s so infuriating, I could snap his neck right now with my bare hands.
“You’ll lose him if you keep giving him reasons to go…” he croaks. “Just like Alice.”
“Shut up,” I snarl, my limbs vibrating.
“I’ve known you a long time, Trevel,” he mumbles. “You’re not worried about hurting him physically, like you were with Alice. Because you know he can handle you. So instead, you’re destroying himinside. If he’s too strong, he could breakyoudown… And that terrifies you.”
“I’m not paying you for this head-shrinking garbage,” I simmer.
“When are you going to stop hiding from who you are? Sabotaging any and all chances at happiness because you don’t feel worthy…” He keeps going, bloodyneedlingat me until I’m overflowing crimson from my goddamn pores. “The only way you’ll ever move on and feel somethingrealis by accepting it…”
“Acceptingwhat?”
“That you don’t need to be put back together,” he hums, as if it’s the simplest thing ever. “No amount of revenge will ever fix you, Trevel. Because you can’t be fixed. So let him love youbroken… Or spend forever alone, looking for a partner in crime who doesn’t exist.”
My face pales. I feel the color drain as I stare at him in shock.
Fuck you.
My muscles stiffen. My chestburns.
