Page 287 of Shadowman
“It is…?”
I’m very surprised by this. I figured that despite Lemuel forgiving me, Felix might feel different. But he’s forgiven me too. Themonster…
Apparently, this evil soul has more heart and emotional clarity than I do. It’s alarming.
“Of course,” he says surely.
So I nod. I’m not going to argue with his decision to let bygones be bygones. Especially when I know I’m still a bloody fuckhead for lying to Byron.
Reconciling with them is fine, but I still suck at life. That’s what’s important here.
“Is Lemuel alright?” I ask. “Where is he?”
“He’s fine,” he answers on a tired breath. “A bit worse for wear, but aren’t we all?”
I shrug, becausenot quite…Byron and I are fine, physically. Sitting by The Ivory’s side, well-fed and freshly showered, in clean clothes, while everyone else is living a dystopian nightmare.
Although I’m sure emotionally, we too resemble raggedy forest goblins.
“He’s with Joy and Rook,” Felix tells me, pausing to listen for sounds. He’s on high alert, reacquainting me with the situation. The lad’s been out there assassinating The Ivory’s men for weeks. I clearly never gave him the credit he’s due.MaybeFelix Darcey deserves the hype.“They showed up with Kemper to get eyes on the mansion and figure out how to get Dash out, and decided to take Lemuel…” He blinks at the look on my face. “Oh, right. You don’t know them. Um, Dash and Kemper are these guys who used to—”
“I’ve met Dash,” I cut him off. “And heard the name Kemper a few times. He’s Dash’s partner, yes?”
He nods. “There’s a lot going on right now…”
“I’ll say,” I breathe, head cluttered.
“Well, Lemuel refused to leave you guys behind, so I told him I’d stay and help get you all to safety,” he says, his wide, gray eyes capturing mine. “That is… if you’re with us.”
Felix goes quiet, as if he’s waiting for me to make this decision. To finally admit that I’m not loyal to The Ivory. That I want what’s best for myself, and Byron, and that I’ve known all along that Manuel Blanco will never be for us what he’s expecting us to be for him.
It may seem like an easy choice, but for me, it’s a bit more complex. I don’t fit in with the rest of them… With Byron’s mates. They all hate me. Say what you will about Manuel Blanco,but he’s done alright by me—in the way a maniacal sociopath does, of course.
But regardless of everything else, the only thing that keeps coming back to me, the only thing thatmatters, is my sweet fury.
And the words he wrote in his book of secrets assault my mind…
The Ivory using Byron’s mouth, drugging him and making him engage with his friend. Manipulating him, playing on his secrets.Usinghim…Mywarrior.
That’s not even close to what I’ve done to him. Yes, I’ve lied, and I’ve hid, but that’s about my issues and insecurities, not wanting to control him.
Whatever else happens, I think we can all agree I’m not as bad for him as The Ivory.
Jealousy burns up my esophagus, possession wrapped around the most potent of emotions…Love. Ilovehim. And it sparks another familiar need in me…
The need forrevenge.
Byron ismine, not his. He’s all that matters to me anymore. And if I want to keep him, after all of this is over, I’ll need to leave the darknesswithhim.
“You belong to me…”
“I am.” I nod. “I’m with you. Byron has always been with you all… And I want to be with him. That’s all I care about.”
Felix grins and steeples his dirty fingers. “Great to have you on board, fellow monster.”
My lips quirk, and he winks.
But a very specific sound crushes our amusement.
