Page 314 of Shadowman
He chuckles, then whimpers like it hurts. “I don’t know… I’m fucked up, Raph.” His eyes are welling with tears. “Doyou… hate me?”
No.My lips part, ready to cough up what I think Ishouldsay, which is yes. Because Ishouldhate him for what he’s put me through. But I don’t. Not even a little.
Especially after… what he just said.
He’s in love with me…?
No one’s ever… said that to me before.
“No,” I croak. “I don’t hate you, Trevel.”
His head tilts.
“Maybe I should, but I don’t, and I don’t understand why you’re writing this off. How can you be in…lovewith me, but give up that easily??”
He sniffles, shaking his head. “You said you didn’t want to know me…”
“Yea, I was fucking pissed!” I growl, grabbing his face. “Do you blame me?? You’ve been treating me like a fucking yo-yo for weeks! Opening me up and devouring everything inside me like you were surviving on it only to leavemestarving for you!”
“You told me you didn’t want a relationship,” he cries softly. “You s-said you couldn’t do it…”
“I was lying!” I roar.
Our chests are heaving in tandem, the mess of what we are so overwhelming, I’m dizzy.
“Shit, Trev, I… I think I’m…” My face is burning, my throat trying to close up on the words.
“Please don’t…” he whimpers. “Baby, don’t say it… I’m so scared.”
“I know,” I gasp, tugging his face so that I can whisper it in his ear. “I’m… in love with you too.”
“Jesus bloody Christ.” He collapses into me, crushing me against the wall. “You shouldn’t, sweet fury. I love you so much, but youshouldn’tlove me…”
“I know.” I tremble, sweating all over, knees wobbling.
But I’m…high.
I feel suddenly weightless, and it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever felt, like flying through the air with no wings. I’m purelyterrifiedthat I could plummet at any moment, but… this soar isspectacular.
“This… is not at all how I expected this to go,” he sniffles, wiping his tears on my neck.
I chuckle, reveling in it. Basking in this; the fact that I love him and I’m admitting it. I’min lovewith a guy, and he loves me back.
“Yea, no shit,” I mumble. “You raced over here waving a white fucking flag.”
“I’m sorry…”
My shaky fingers toy with the soft, messy strands of black hair at the base of his skull. They trail his smooth skin, sloping along the sharp line of his jaw. Touching him, feeling him; feeling this.
He’s mine. I get to… have this.
“You can keep apologizing if you want.” I sigh. “It’s kinda sexy.”
Trevel laughs again, softly rumbling into me, kissing my pulse over and over. “You forgive me? For being a knob…”
I nod, taking his wrists and dragging his hands off the wall behind me, placing them flat on my chest. “I do. Because I know you didn’t mean to. You weren’t trying to hurt me, Trevel, I know that.”
“I promise I wasn’t…”
