Page 38 of Shadowman
I bite my lip.
“It’s okay to want in secret. It’s okay to play in secret, to unleash in secret… Tolet goin secret. Just remember that who you are in the shadows is also who you are in the light.” He leans in and presses a soft kiss on my lower lip. It’s so unexpected, it stops my shivers, like the snap of a hypnotist’s fingers. “And who you are… ismyproperty.”
Another knock at the door has me squirming again.
“Come in,” he says with the brush of his thumb over my lip.
He steps away from me just as Hancock comes trudging into his office. I’m not even sure how he knew to show up right now, but I’m too busy gawking at the Warden and praying to whoeverwants to listen that no one notices the huge wet spot on my pants.
“Bring Mr. Kang to solitary,” the Warden says to Hancock, smirking at me. “He needs some time alone with his thoughts.”
You… fucking… monster.
“Ghost Rider”
Here’s the thing about conformity… To a certain extent, it’s primal. Part of human nature is to bond with your fellow species.
Animals do it. They flock, or pack, tribe or clowder. And while human beings are evolved enough to value individual identity, westillpossess this baser instinct to bond with others. To beacceptedby the group.
Even though I knew I’d never be like my mother and father, or my sister and her husband, I still found myself on the outside looking in… Wondering if maybe there was some way I could make them accept me, even just a little.
That was why my relationship with Rey was so important. Being with her made me a real person. Not only in my family’s eyes, but in my own too. It was like I’d finally found something that brought me out of the shadows.
A relationship with a beautiful girl, one who I could bring home to my family. It was just what I needed. For that reason more than anything else, Icould notaccept that Rey was sleeping with someone else. It just didn’t fit the picture I’d created of us in my head.
As far as I was concerned, everything had beenfineuntil she started fucking that guy.
I mean, who even was that asshole?? Where did he come from??
I was in an emotional tailspin. It was insufferable. I had to do something. I needed to knowmore.
So I fell into my default mode and went back to following her. All of my spare time was spent watching Rey, stewing in frustrated consternation. The obsession had become stronger than my feelings for her ever were, and that only served to piss me off more.
Then one night, when I was outside watching her window from the street, someone familiar showed up. It wasthe guy.
Thatassholewho’d been fucking my girlfriend. The one who ruinedeverything.
I watched him enter her building, barely waiting two minutes before I was climbing up her fire escape to spy on them through her bedroom window again.
He looked to be about my age. White guy, maybe twenty-three to twenty-five, with dark hair and these pretty-boy dimples I just wanted to smash repeatedly with my fists.
Not ten minutes into him arriving, they were already getting naked. I could barely fucking see, I was so irate.
Thisis what she was blowing me off for? Mediocre sex with some random fuckboy?
Really, Rey?? Him??
What the fuck is so special about him?!
I watched them with every muscle in my body stiffening. I didn’t exactly want to see what they were doing together, but I couldn’t make my eyes look away from his hands on her. The way he pushed her legs apart and tore open the condom wrapper with his teeth before rolling it onto his…
Fuck, I felt sick. I was dizzy and sweaty, and I had to grip the railing to make sure I didn’t fall off the goddamn fire escape.
Who are you?I wondered, jaw clamped as I watched his hips move, pumping his cock into her, over and over andover.
Lost in a haze of strife and internal doubt, I couldn’t move. My breathing shallowed, though my heart was leaping up my throat. I wanted to leave, but Icouldn’t. I was in some sort of trance, physically unable to drag my eyes away from the prick who’d stolen my girlfriend. The pretty boy with the chiseled body and the silky hair…Ruiningmylifewithout a care in the world.
The next thing I knew, they were done, and he was leaving.
