Page 51 of Shadowman
Andres and the friend moving Alice into bed with me… The friend grumbling about beingfuckedas he shuffled out of the room.
But Andres stayed. I can feel him staring at us in the dark.
“Sorry it had to be this way, Sis,”he’d whispered, running his hand from her over to me.
I remember feeling it, on the edge of my consciousness… My clothes being removed. I knew I hadn’t passed out practically naked.Andrestook off my shirt, then my pants, touching me all the while.
The feeling of being touched and groped… At the time, I’d thought it was a nightmare. But it washim.
“Your boyfriend wants to get fucked by a man, Alicita… I could do it right now and he’d probablyloveit.”
And the worst part is that he was fuckingright. I am a pathetic whore who let his girlfriend’s brother fuck him right next to her. The whole time, I thought she was sleeping, and it was some forbidden game, when in reality… she was dead. And it was just tragic.
“Alice, I’m so…sosorry,” I weep, holding her and kissing her shoulder and neck. “I failed you in so many ways. Because I’m… cursed…”
I’m falling into panic once more, memories from deep within who I am resurrecting…
“No… please…” Pain. Rough, throbbing agony.
“Please stop…” Dirt in my face, in my mouth.
I can’t breathe.
“Fuck, yea… Shut up and take it.”
“Mate, I know you’re grieving, but time is of the essence here,”Leo rumbles, cutting into the flashes of misery in my brain.“We’ve got to get a move on.”
I hate what he’s saying. But I know he’s right.
Only a moment of wallowing more, and I eventually pull myself together, saying one last goodbye to somebody who may have been my true love… My other piece.
Maybe in another life.
“I’ll never forget you, Alice Alvarez,” I whisper to her, closing her eyes with a swipe of my fingertips. “I’m sorry I couldn’t… begoodfor you.”
Stomping out of her bedroom, I sniffle and wipe my eyes, glancing around the apartment. The place is a mess; drugs everywhere, blood… And in the middle of it, a very dead asshole.
I kick Andres’s lifeless corpse.
“I can’t believe I let him fuck me,” I sigh, shaking my head.
“Can’t you, though?”Leo snarks, and my jaw tenses.
“Whatever. It wasn’t even all that… I barely came.” I bite my lip. Leo snorts, and I whip a scowl in his direction. “Don’t say a fucking word.”
He holds his bear paws up, smirking.“No judgement.”
“Sod off.”
Pacing around the body, I can feel the drugs fizzling out of my system more and more as adrenaline takes over.Awarenessis turning up my manic state several degrees.
I suppose I should just get the fuck out of here. Leave Atlanta in my rearview and go out on the run… After all, that’s what Ishouldhave done the last time. But I was young. Naïve.I didn’t want to leave New York.But more than that, I wasproudof myself. I foolishly thought the punishment would be minimal because ofwhyI’d done it, and a minor price to pay for my revenge.
I suppose I’m proud of killing Andres, too… Avenging Alice’s death feels like the best parting gift I could give her.
“So Dr. Love was right…” I sigh. “I couldn’t stop myself from killing again. All that work I did, the hiding and pretending to be someone else. It was… no use.Thisis who I am. I was—”
“Born this way?”Leo finishes, and I peek at him, shrugging. He rolls his eyes.“Maybe. But you didn’t kill her. That’s what matters.”
