Page 71 of Shadowman
Not yet, anyway…
“Thanks,aein.”
She rolls her eyes at me, and I chuckle.
We walk back to my cell in silence. When we get there, Joy says, “You’re more, Byron.”
Stepping inside, I turn to meet her gaze between the metal bars. “More than what?”
“You’re just…more.” She taps her knuckles on the steel. Then she wanders off.
A few minutes later, she returns to drop off some food for me. And I eat it alone, in the quiet, with just my thoughts.Ruminating and contemplating… How muchmoreI could be if I weren’t so convinced I’m less.
The day after I found out the truth about O’Malley’s murder, I ran into Felix fucking Darcey in the showers.
I’m not sure who thought it’d be a good idea to bring him up to general population, but clearly, they were misguided.
It took everything in me not to bash his sweet little bespectacled head into the concrete enough times to crack it right open. Fortunately for him, my own best friends stopped me.
Luthor and Ren are… acting weird. I’m not sure what’s up with them, but if I were to place a wager, I’d say Luthor is mourning the loss of yet another cellmate—his other best friend, Dash—by being an idiot. And Ren, as usual, is taking advantage of that.
Neither of them seems to care very much about O’Malley being gone. It’s all about Dash. Andno, neither of them was very close with O’Malley, andyes, he was a scumbag of a human. But the way I see it, that’s irrelevant. We’reallscumbags in one way or another, and O’Malley, hate him or not, wasour friend. For a whole fuck of a lot longer than Dash was.
But they just don’t care, and it’s fucking bothering me more than I’m sure it should. As is the way they’ve been hanging on each other more excessively than usual.
It’s not a sudden shift.No fucking way.This has been building for a while… Which is why I can’t be too surprised byit. I always knew they’d migrate back to one another. It doesn’t matter if Luthor claims they were never actuallytogether, and if Ren is physically incapable of being faithful. They’re two of the worst gluttons for punishment I’ve ever met. And I suppose I’m just as bad…
Because here I always am, right beside them.Stillallowing them to drag me along for the toxic, codependent ride, because they’re all I have…
Lying awake, I’m staring up at the mattress of the empty top bunk. Wishing for noise again, but getting nothing but quiet. No screaming nightmares from above my head, no rampant fucking from up the row. It’s infinitely less loud than it was only a couple of weeks ago, and you’dthinkthat would be a good thing. But instead, it just feels… unsettling.
Like the calm before the storm.
Fingers trailing below my navel, I slip them into my pants to palm my cock. Might as well…Maybe a quick O will help turn off my brain and get me some shut-eye.
It’s not hard—not yet—but one touch and it slowly starts to fill. It’s been weeks since I last got off. With Luthor and Ren… That stupid fucking threesome we had that broughtthemcloser and pushedmefurther away.
Good. I don’t need any of that shit.
I’m not like them. I don’t need a relationship to validate my existence. I’m better off on my own, just like I always knew I would be.
I’m not gay. And Luthor and Ren can get fucking prison married for all I care.
It doesn’t bother me. I’m fine.
Fisting my dick, I tug it slowly, closing my eyes to let some salacious memories fuel me.
A mouth is just a mouth… A hole is just a hole.
They can feel good and not mean a goddamn thing.
“I’m not… into dudes…” I remember the gravelly words leaving my lips.
“So just pretend,”the smooth voice rumbled as he pressed his wet flesh against mine in the showers.“That’s what I’ll be doing.”
He dropped to his knees quickly, and before I could protest any further, he was stroking my cock in front of his face. Giving in to temptation almost effortlessly, I’d grabbed a fistful of wet hair, yanking until his blue eyes shined up at me.
There he is…
