Page 71 of To Spark a Dragon's Love
Ember and Riley shared a disbelieving look.
“Seriously, it’s no big deal,” I tried to reassure them. Having friends that knew your secrets was such a pain in the ass sometimes. “I’m just thinking too much lately. You know how I am.”
“Bullshit,” Ember called me out.
Riley nodded. “Tell us the truth or we’ll make you.”
“I think I hear my cousins coming up the road.” Amanda stood in the doorway and slowly cupped her hand over her ear. “Yep. That’s them. I should make sure they get settled in.”
“I’ll come with…” My words trailed off as Mandy disappeared without another glance back.
My best friends circled me like vultures on a kill.
“Spill.”
“It’s really not that bad.” I didn’t mean to smile, but it was my go-to move in times of crisis. “We’re working on our relationship and he’s trying to open up.”
“And what about you?” Ember folded her arms over her chest. “Because I remember times we’ve had this same conversation.”
“What?” I coughed.
“Don’t be mean to her.” Riley elbowed Ember before turning on me. “But seriously, you guys are like made for each other or something. You’re both the most selfless people I know. And you both suck at taking what you want or telling anyone else what you need.”
“Oh… That.” I watched Harper tackle one of the twins outside and my smile fell. “I did tell him that I wanted him to be more vulnerable. He’s trying to do what I need.”
“See? That’s how you do it.” Ember raised her hand for a high-five.
Riley reached up and pulled Ember’s arm down. “What’s really wrong?”
Maybe weweresoul sisters or whatever because there was no way they should’ve been able to read me this well.
“I’m worried,” I breathed out the words, letting the truth that was twisting me up inside see the light of day. “It’s different than it ever was with Sam and not just because of who Sam was.I never loved him like this. It’s consuming. It hurts when he’s not around. I feel so raw and exposed when he looks at me. And I don’t think I can… I don’t think…”
I pushed open the window, needing air before I suffocated. Ember and Riley were touching my back as I sucked in fresh breaths. A soft breeze played at the hairs tickling my face while Harper’s laughter drifted up on the wind.
It's okay.
I turned to face Ember and Riley again.
“What if something happens to him?” I asked. “I’m trying to keep my heart out of it, but it’s so hard. I love him. And what happens if he doesn’t come back one day? How am I supposed to do this alone now that I know what it feels like to be wanted?”
Arms wrapped around me as my friends rushed out words of encouragement. I cried like a baby, leaning on them until I choked out the worst of my sobs.
“You’re not alone.” Ember rubbed circles in my back. “Never.”
“And we’re not leaving you,” Riley cried as she gripped me by the shoulders.
I dried my tears, shaking my head. “I’ll be fine. Really. I needed to vent my fears out loud. Now I’ll process them and get over it and find a way to move forward.”
“Of course you will, because you’re the most badass mother I know,” Ember said.
“You don’t know any other mothers.” Tears filled my eyes again.
“She means you’re the strongest of all of us.” Riley wiped her nose. “And I’m seriously not leaving any time soon. To tell you the truth, I only wanted an excuse to be able to ditch these formal events in the future.”
I burst out laughing.
A headache blossomed at the surge of swirling emotions. My heart ached for all the pain around us, but it swelled with joy at every beautiful thing we’d managed to create in the chaos.
