Page 77 of To Spark a Dragon's Love
The smile he gave her lit up his eyes. He was always happy around her, making sure she felt heard and appreciated now. How had I been so blind?
He wants to be a dad.
My heart sank as I called Harper away and held her hand, walking out of the dining hall.
∞
I dressed Harper in comfy pajamas and left her in bedwatching cartoons as I headed back downstairs, but I couldn’t force myself to return to the guests. My anxiety wouldn’t let me leave Harper alone for too long with all these people here anyway.
I just needed a minute to breathe without feeling like the walls were suffocating me.
“Where are you going?”Malachy’s nosey presence ebbed and flowed through my mind.
Despite my breaking heart, I smiled.“Outside to see Grace if that’s okay.”She’d reverted to dragon form for the night and stood guard outside the windows.
After a moment of hesitation, he answered,“Stay on the back deck and in her line of sight.”
“Yes, your highness.”I laughed softly to myself.
His concern made me feel all the things I’d been missing—safe, loved, taken care of.
And that made me feel awful because I couldn’t give him everything he wanted when he gave so much to me.
I nodded at the kitchen staff as I passed through the busy room, trying hard to remember all their names since a few would be staying with us.
The entire house was full of noise and laughter tonight. It seemed as if the walls swelled to accommodate it. The layout of the lodge was built to entertain. It’d been a ghost of itself as it waited to come alive again.
After two of these types of events, I could see the people needed it too. Even that old vampire—a real life vampire—had a joyful spark in his cold eyes as he’d mingled with the other guests. His lady-friend Sabine kept smiling at me too. The witches and shifters and Orcs and other beings all told stories and ate, enjoying themselves.
Even Malachy was different tonight.
I touched the claiming mark on my neck.
We’d come a long way from the grumpy old dragon I’d first mated. It was as if the past few months had breathed life into him. He might have complained about the party, but he thrived in this environment. It wasn’t just the glory or fame either.
I think he truly enjoyed being able to see the reason he had to suffer so much for Earth. Looking in the eyes of Her children reminded him why he still fought each day.
The cold wind whipped around me when I pushed open the back door. I hugged my waist as I walked onto the deck and nodded at Grace. She turned her dragon eye in my direction before resuming her self-assigned guard duties.
Harper loved this louder life too.
Our lives had been so quiet over the past few years and our world had grown smaller with each new crisis. There were days and days I’d gone without speaking to another adult. I’d played the music too loud at home, making kids’ playlists and encouraging Harper to sing at the top of her lungs to help fill the quiet void of our house.
No wonder she talked so much. She was used to taking up all the space. Here she could be even louder. She could have all the things I couldn’t give her alone. Things that Malachy gave her.
And I couldn’t give him more kids to love on.
I gripped the porch railing as the full moon caressed my exposed skin and the frosty air nipped at my nose and fingers, biting them with the cold.
My breath fogged around my face like dragon smoke. The sweat on my skin turned icy as I inhaled, filling my lungs with the fresh crisp of the early winter night. I should’ve been freezing, but a fire burned within, begging for the cold to douse it.
I didn’t want to mess this up.
But I might not be what he needed.
That hurt more than it should.
Because I was falling head over heels in love with the dragon who carried the world on his shoulders and the thought of not being everything he deserved squeezed the air from my lungs.
