Page 43 of There's Pumpkin About You
My feet fucking kill, but one look at Wren as we wait for Doctor Shakari has me trying to hide the pain. As much as I wanted to blame her when I was deep in my anger, now I know it wasn’t her fault. Well, not entirely anyway. I had been lost in the music whilst I was cooking and wasn’t paying attention to the shiver that ran down my spine when I felt her watching me, or the subconscious urge to flex the muscles on my back knowing she was looking.
There is this need within me that drives me to try and be some perfect version of myself in front of Wren when she first arrives. Within the first five minutes of being around her, there is an urge to mask and hide anything my mind considers not good enough for someone like Wren. And yet, once we start to argue it almost feels like a safe space—a messed up, extremely weird safe space where I can just not give a shit about masking or being anything other than a pissed off version of myself.
“Gus?” Doctor Shakari enters the room we were led to where I’m currently lying down with my feet up. “What on earth has happened now?”
Before I can explain, Wren jumps up from the seat beside the bed and says, “It’s my fault, doctor. I surprised him out of nowhere and it caused him to accidentally knock over the pan and the grease went all over the floor.”
Doctor Shakari moves to speak, but Wren isn’t finished. “I promise it wasn’t on purpose! Well, no, that’s not entirely true, I was standing there quietly and waiting to say something. So, I guess if you think about it, yes, it was on purpose, but I never wanted anyone to hurt themselves, especially not with bacon grease because I’m pretty sure an oil burn is like the worst burn you can get! And that’s also not to say that I wanted to cause a less serious burn because I didn’t, I just?—”
“She gets it,” I snap, cutting her off.
Her mouth shuts closed, and I must fight down the urge to apologize when I see the hurt swimming behind those hazel eyes of hers.
“Okay,” Doctor Shakari says slowly. “Well, why don’t we take a look at the injury and see? I’m sure no one burned anyone on purpose.”
Wren moves her hurt look to the floor as she slowly sits back down. She starts playing with her finger nervously. We’ve had good moments, Wren and I, and in each of those moments I realize that maybe she isn’t a bad person—not that I ever thought she was. Maybe she’s someone who I can get along with. After all, she’s funny, smart and a force of nature when she sets her mind to something.
And therein lies the problem. There is room for more with Wren than there has ever been with anyone else. It’s not just her good qualities, it’s the way she can disarm me with a single eyebrow raise, or that when she’s close I have to actively tell myself not to touch her or move closer. There have been times where I’ve blatantly ignored my own warnings, and it’s lead to situations like yesterday in the barn.
If I let my guard down, then I’m giving Wren the power to do what everyone in my life other than my brothers have always done…
Leave.
“Well, the good news is that the skin will be fine,” Doc says as she inspects both feet. “Your right foot got more of the splashback than your left but it’s still not going to leave a scar or anything thanks to the quick thinking with the cold wrap.”
I want to tell her that it was all Wren’s idea. That I was being stubborn and knew that if I let her touch me, I’d combust and so I argued, but I roll my lips and don’t say a word. Surprisingly, neither does Wren.
“I’m going to wrap them both and give you a prescription for some cream you can put on them along with some more painkillers. The same ones I’ve given you for your arm and shoulder, don’t worry.”
“Thanks,” I mumble.
“Since you’re here, I may as well check the progress with that as well. Any problems with your shoulder? If so, I may have to refer you for some physiotherapy.”
“My shoulder feels fine,” I lie.
The good doctor who has been treating me since I was five years old stops trying to take my arm out of the sling to give me a look. “Oh, really?”
I nod once and avoid her scrutinizing gaze.
“August,” she pushes.
As I look to the side, my eyes meet with a pair of sad, hazel ones and I almost groan at the way she pleads with me.
For fuck’s sake.
I turn back to Doctor Shakari. “It’s been stiffer than I assume it should be, and the pain has been spreading to my left shoulder.”
Doc’s eyebrows dip. “The pain has been spreading? Have you been taking it easy?”
“I can’t afford to take it easy. I told you that when you patched me up.”
Her eyes flare as she lets out an exasperated sigh. “August, this is never going to heal if you don’t take care of yourself. I know there is pressure to get the harvest finished in time, but you can’t keep overexerting yourself like this.”
“I have no choice.”
“I asked you about asking people in the town.”
I scoff bitterly. “Ask who? The people who sat in a town hall meeting just to tell me that they think me incapable to run my business?”
