Page 65 of There's Pumpkin About You
Bash tries his best to hide the relief on his face, but I see it. It can’t be easy the pressure that both he and his brother are under. They are under the scrutiny of the entire town, and I know that he can feel it almost as much as Gus does.
He spends the next hour teaching both of us where to cut when harvesting the pumpkin and where to take it once we’re done. Finn immediately gets to work, and thanks to his rigid workout routine and his job in construction, it seems to be an easy task for him. He’s barely breaking a sweat by the time he’s finished his first batch, and by the time he’s done that, I’ve only completed a quarter of mine.
Okay, so I may not be all that much help.
A nudge on the back of my neck has me jumping, but I instantly calm down when I see Mori behind me.
“Hey, girl.” I rub up and down her snout, more comfortable with her now than I was the first time I met her. Heat licks my spine when I remember the way that Gus showed me exactly how to do this, his firm body flush against mine even when it didn’t need to be. I remember the way his smile almost broke me, so mischievous, but so comforting to look at. The way he asked me if he made me nervous, and the way the word “yes” sat on my tongue, tasting like the spice that hits you when you eat a pepper.
Mori snickers beside me and I realize I must have zoned out. Shaking my head, I reach down for the next pumpkin that is within my weight limit. Unfortunately, there haven’t been many that I can help to harvest because the size of these pumpkins is ridiculous. I now understand why Bash and Gus are so physically fit, how could you not be when you need to lift double your body weight?
Mori’s head moves to the side as if she’s heard something close by, and when I look in the same direction, I see him.
The shock on his face is evident, his body frozen in place by the sight of me working the fields with his brother and mine. It’s crazy when you think about how our families have blended together so seamlessly. My brother now hangs out with Sam and Bash without me even knowing and I love it. I love that my brother has found his people.
But it scares me knowing that I feel like I’ve found mine, too. But not people… just one particular person.
It’s scary to admit that the man I’m looking at right now is someone I could actually grow to like… is someone Ihavegrown to like. A crush on August Finch is not something that I could have ever anticipated. And yet, as he looks at me across the field as if I’m the only one around for miles, and as if he wants nothing more than to have me all to himself like a man at a buffet, I know for a fact that I’m hopelessly attracted to him.
When we kissed, I lost all my breath. When he touched my waist, I felt like my entire body was on fire. And when I woke up beside him, I felt fear—fear for the way my heart raced as I felt his arm wrapped around me and for the way I found myself never wanting to leave.
As he stands there watching me, I find myself hoping that he’ll wrap his arm around me and tell me that he missed me. This morning, his coffee ended up being placed on a slightly clearer desk than usual that stood in the middle of an empty office, and I wondered if he was avoiding me almost as much as I’m avoiding him.
I want him. I do, truly. But the thought of letting myself become vulnerable with another man after Adam causes a wave of anxiety so intense that I struggle to even think about coming back to Goldleaf Farm. I’m overcome with the urge to run and never look back, because it’s one thing knowing that if I were to give my heart to Gus, he could break it just like Adam did, but it’s another thing knowing that if he were to do so, it would hurt a million times more.
The feelings I have for Gus usurp anything I thought I ever felt for Adam. My ex offered me a false sense of security, making me feel I was loved enough to continue my life with him by my side. But in reality, he made me feel just safe and loved enough to make me feel as if I needed him instead of wanted him.
When Gus walks over to Bash and starts a heated conversation that is clearly about me, based off of the occasional glance thrown my way, I wonder if Gus would ever do that; if he would ever purposefully make a woman feel as if their life would be meaningless without him in it, making her feel obliged to do anything and everything for him.
Judging by the way Gus’s free arm gesticulates, I’m going to guess that he’s not all too pleased to see me working the field, and from the way Bash doesn’t hesitate to push back, I’m going to assume he’s sticking up for my decision. He whispers something to his younger brother, and Gus looks around as if for the first time he’s noticed that Finn is helping out as well. After an intense stare in my direction, I can see him visibly back down, shoulders slumping forward as he nods.
Disappointment feels prickly as it slides down my throat when I watch him turn away back to the office, despite me not wanting to speak to him just yet. I have no idea what I would say to him.
Hey, August. I know we never really spoke about the other night, but I’m here to tell you that I would really love to repeat it, and maybe even add in a couple hours of bumping uglies!
Yeah, that would go down beautifully. He’d probably spend five minutes asking me to explain the meaning behind the phrase “bumping uglies”.
He doesn’t look back as he stalks towards his office. Defeat sits heavy on my chest, because as selfish as it sounds, even though I want space from Gus, I was really hoping he wouldn’t want it from me.
ChapterThirty
GUS
My frustration doubles when I check my watch for the seventh time this morning.
All it takes is one fleeting thought of hazel eyes and a warm smile and I find myself checking the clock with a look of contempt. Trying to work is futile, a clear head is nothing more than a dream. I’m on the verge of having a bald spot with the way I’m dragging my fingers through my hair.
“Should I be worried that the stack of papers in front of you hasn’t gone down in the last four hours?”
I don’t waste my time acknowledging my brother’s presence, even though it surprises me. Sam avoids this office like the plague since it serves as a constant memory of the man who sat in it before I did.
I feel feverish when I ask, “Have you seen Wren today?”
Where I expect a smirk, I instead find a frown. “You didn’t hear?”
“Hear what?”
I sit up straight once I see him squirm, his eyes avoiding me.
