Page 81 of There's Pumpkin About You
“Are they?”
“Funnily enough, it’s easier to know what someone needs when they don’t use words. When all they can go off of is instinct and survival they don’t bother to lie or hide their emotions.”
When we reach the sanctuary, a wide-eyed Wren takes in the pens, the barns and the open space for animals to run around. I became acquaintances with the owner, Reena, about five years ago when I found Mori.
I drive us up to the main lodge where Reena stands waiting.
“Gus Finch,” she greets as I step out of the truck.
“Hi,” I reply as I help Wren out of the passenger side. “Thanks for calling about Trixie.”
“My pleasure,” she says.
I smile down at Wren as she straightens herself, my heart jolting as I see the excitement and happiness clear in her eyes. I just want to spend more time with her, show her a part of myself and my life that means just as much to me as the farm does.
“I see you brought some company this time,” Reena says with a suggestive grin.
I let my arm wrap itself around Wren’s waist, pulling her close into me. “This is Wren.”
The enclosure that Reena leads us to holds a group of animals I’ve never dealt with before. I don’t actually think that anyone has dealt with something like this before.
“This is Trixie.”
In the enclosure is a cougar. Not yet fully grown, but definitely not a cub.
“Is that a goddamn cougar?” Wren asks.
“Indeed it is,” Reena replies.
“Explain.” My fury rising by the second.
“She was raised by a couple in the mountains for four months, so she can no longer survive in the wild. We’ve kept her around other animals, so we know that she won’t hurt them. She’s docile now. She needs a home.”
I turn to Reena. “You told me you had a cat.”
She at least has the decency to look sheepish. “I mean technically I didn’t lie. She is a cat. A big cat.”
“I own a pumpkin farm, Reena, not a fucking safari. I have nowhere to keep a goddamn cougar.”
“I just thought that you’d be able to give her a home, Gus.” She shrugs, brushing my concerns off like this is no big deal or just some game to her.
“Besides… who doesn’t love a cougar?” Wren teases, giving my side a squeeze and Reena a conspiratorial grin. The ring of her laughter mixed with Reena’s makes my stomach churn. “Can you imagine a cougar running around the farm?”
I wanted to show the woman I like a side of me that I don’t share with many people. People in town don’t know that it’s me who fosters and adopts the animals. But I don’t just feel as if I want to her to know. Ineedher to know. I need her to know I’m someone with substance, someone with depth. The fact that she’s joking about this feels like an attack on this side of me. Sure, it might not be at all, but my sensitive and bruised ego refuses to allow me to see it as anything else.
I’m going to throw up.
I pull Wren even closer to me, her stiff frame making me feel safer even if her words chisel against my confidence bit by bit.
“I can’t take her.”
“I don’t have space for her, Gus.” Reena argues.
“Then you need to call someone with expertise with these kinds of animals.”
I gently but firmly steer Wren back towards the truck, pissed off that I’ve not been able to show Wren exactly what I had planned to. Wren struggles to keep up with me, and even though I’m aware of that in my mind, I still walk quickly, wanting to remove myself from this embarrassing situation.
Reena is calling after me, but there’s no way I’m wasting my time with her. They all deserve a permanent home, the animals, especially the ones that are in their last few years, but I also have to stay realistic. The only problem with that is now I seem to have become some kind of joke to Wren.
