Page 18 of Finding Ash
Now, to dissect those feelings and figure out if they meant anything more. How would Ash react if they did? Losing him wasn’t an option for me, but did our hearts have room for one more? Did McClain’s? Ash was my first love, and the thought of losing him gutted me. I’m not sure I’d have room for someone new after that.
“Well, we like eating with you too,” Ash happily chimed in. “Let’s take a break while there’s time to breathe.”
The summer visitors had kept them hopping since the day the creamery opened. I felt bad leaving them to handle the growing crowds alone, but I was in the middle of a project that kept me busy, though I jumped in when I could.
“When will you guys be able to take a day off?” They’d been working long, arduous hours seven days a week. I was surprised McClain hadn’t gone into this with at leastscheduling one day a week to be closed, even though he’d still likely work in some way if he had.
“Probably not until fall when school starts. I’ve been thinking of closing on Mondays, but we’ve had such a steady crowd I don’t want to risk the momentum we’ve built. Weekends will always be busy, so taking those days off won’t likely happen. Honestly, we could probably hire a part-timer or two, though I’d still come in daily,” he sighed. “It’s just become so much more than I ever could have dreamed.”
“Your ice cream is amazing. Have you given any more thought to the whole sandwich and chips sitch?” Sometimes my age surfaced before education when I spoke.
McClain laughed. “Sitch, is it? I have, but even that would require more time and able bodies. There’s just so much to consider, and so little time in which to consider it in.”
“Well, we’re here to help, however you need us to.” Ash bit into his sandwich and moaned. I’d placed an order with Nate and Kit and grabbed it on my way over. “I love BLTs. McClain, have you considered opening later? At least until you decide if you want to add food to the menu?”
“Huh, that’s an idea. An extra hour of sleep a night would be nice. I’m not sure what it would encompass to add food, nor do I want to upset the apple cart when itcomes to other local vendors by potentially taking away business from them. But given the influx of summer visitors, maybe I just offer those extras during the summer months.” McClain’s wheels were constantly turning. He had a huge spreadsheet he kept of suggestions and ideas he was currently analyzing.
There were many ways for McClain to expand or subtract, but at least in the interim he’d built a solid business that was doing well.
“If we get a break this afternoon, I’m gonna get a jump on replenishing the backstock. We’ve pretty much depleted it,” McClain finished his sandwich and tossed the wrapper in the trash. “That was wonderful. Thank you again, Remy.”
“I have a better idea. I do my best work at night, so why don’t I finish out the afternoon working up front with Ash while you work your culinary magic in the back?” McClain glanced from me to Ash, then back to me.
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not, I’m offering.” The man’s face lit up then he kissed both our cheeks.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you boys, but if you figure it out let me know so I can keep doing it. In case you hadn’t already figured it out, dinner is on me!” he declared as he disappeared behind the swinging door.
I rolled my eyes, like he hadn’t fed us nightly. “Ya, ya, ya. Go get your ice cream groove on. We’ve got this.” Ash and I cleaned up our mess, then aproned up, washed our hands, and got right to work. For me, this wasn’t really a job, yet it technically was. But I had so much fun being around them both that it didn’t feel like work to me. The hours went by fast, and we had a great time. The best of both worlds.
We had a steady flow of traffic, but nothing overwhelming, which allowed us to clean and stock between customers. By the time seven rolled around, we locked up and headed into the back. We’d heard McClain’s music playing, but what we didn’t expect was to find him dancing around as he mixed ingredients.
As soon as McClain spotted us his eyes lit up. “Dance with me, boys.” He took each of our hands and spun us out, then back in. His arms wrapped around our waists as he sang and swayed to the beat. “I miss dancing.”
“I’ve never danced before,” Ash admitted. “It’s nice.”
It really was. How was this right, wanting to be held and loved by two men? Was it morally wrong for me to feel this way? I slid out of McClain’s hold and stepped away. “I-I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore. Ash, I…” How do I say this without hurting Ash? That’s the last thing I wanted, but I didn’t see any way around it.
Ash came toward me, and I stepped back, but he wasn’t having that. “Don’t walk away from me. Talk to me. We agreed to never keep anything from each other and to never walk away mad. I-I’m sorry I liked dancing with McClain, but I,” Ash’s head fell, and so did my heart. “I really like him, a lot.”
“More than me?” Why those words came out I’ll never know. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask it that way.”
“It’s fair. Would it be bad to say I like him the same as you?” The entire time Ash and I spoke, McClain stood there, saying nothing but intently watching our exchange.
“No. I um,” I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. “I do too.”
Ash gasped. “What does this mean?”
“Can I interject, boys?”
Our heads bobbed up and down and I swear, we both held our breath. Neither of us seemed to have considered McClain’s feelings, which was wrong on so many levels and beyond selfish, which neither of us were. How had we forgotten our manners?
“I,” McClain began and deflated just as he did. “I swore I’d never love another after Sammy died and my heart was buried with him. Or so I thought. Then you two came along and brightened my world. I haven’t felt this light or this much happiness since before he got sick. I don’t knowwhat all this means, or where it will go, if anywhere. But life has given me a second chance I don’t want to miss. There are so many things working against us. A huge age difference, a small town that may not be accepting of a poly relationship.”
“Poly?” Ash asked.
“In our instance, a closed relationship between three people. The three date each other but no one else,” I quickly explained, hoping I hadn’t misinterpreted McClain’s words.
