Page 8 of Finding Ash
“No. The next town over was where we got whatever we didn’t grow, and our older brothers made those runs. They had licenses, so they got to drive the shared compound truck.” I’d ridden along and helped a time or two, but there wasn’t much draw to wander around town beyond getting what we were sent for. The residents there treated us like we had some sort of disease.
“Sorry, sometimes I forget.”
“It’s okay,” I shrugged. “Communes aren’t an everyday thing for anyone not living in one, so I get it.” It would be nice to one day blend in and not have to explain that anymore. Sometimes it felt like a spotlight was directly overhead, and I stuck out like a sore thumb with all my questions and curiosity, but at least everyone here was nice and didn’t laugh at me.
“Well, I think you’re adorable, and I love how interested you are in everything. It’s exciting to show you stuff you haven’t seen before, and you’re getting really good at Mario Kart too.”
Remy had been so patient with me these past couple of weeks, teaching me how to play games and dealing with my lack of knowledge. All the free time we both had was spent together, and I loved it. Was this what a first crush felt like? Having never been drawn to anyone before as I was to him, just like with the rest of my life, it was all new to me. Newand exciting, like having the best of both worlds. But did he feel the same way?
“What’s going on inside that cute head of yours?”
And making comments likeadorableandcuteconfused me even more. Should I read into that and hope he did?
I shuffled along, kicking at a rock. “I dunno. Was just kinda wondering where this was going?”
“This, as in the rock you’re kicking, or us?”
“Yeah, um, us.” I kept my face downward. My ears were on fire, which meant my face was too. Remy took my hand in his and led us over to a park bench. Why did it feel like I had done something wrong and was about to get scolded?
“Ash,” Remy kept hold of my hand like a lifeline. Either that or he was afraid I’d run, though it was nice how his fingers kept rubbing across my knuckles. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, and believe it or not, this is new to me too.”
“It is? But don’t you have lots of friends and people,” didn’t want to assume his sexuality. Learned that important detail from Kit, “you dated back home?”
He laughed. “No, I don’t have either. I have co-workers here, but never any kind of friends I’d hang out with, nor had I ever had the urge to date before you came along.”
“What?”
Remy sighed. “I don’t know, maybe I’m broken, but I’ve just never met anyone I’ve been interested in, like, dating wise.”
Was he saying… “You want to date me?”
“Well, um,” his free hand nervously scratched the back of his neck. “Kinda feels to me like we already are. Plus, I really, really like you.”
I giggled. “I really, really like you too.” How fun was this? Someone liked me and I liked them back. I bet this was how teenagers felt. Sadly, I’d missed all that fun, but at least I got to live it now. This felt silly and wonderful all at the same time. “Oh, butterfly!” I pointed to the beautiful creature flying low enough to touch, yet I knew better than to try.
“Feels like some sort of sign.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s silly, but my mom always told Kara and me that anytime we saw a butterfly, it was a good sign. Kinda like they were good luck, though she claimed it was ladybugs that held that title. Can’t say anything super good that I can remember ever came from a butterfly sighting, though today feels, I dunno, different. Special.” The blush dotting Remy’s cute face was so sweet.
Remy was right, today felt special. Monumental even, like I was where I was meant to be.
“Your mom sounds great. You must really miss her.”
“She is and my dad was too. You’d have liked him.” Remy got a faraway look in his eyes. I’m sure he was recounting a fond memory of his father. Kit and I were lucky in the fact our parents were not only still alive but were as good to us as they were. They had their moments, don’t get me wrong, but I think it’s in the parental contract that you have to embarrass your kids at least once a year.
Playfully, I nudged my shoulder against his. “If he was anything like you, I know I would’ve.”
“See, and when you say nice stuff like that it makes me want to kiss you.”
Did I want to be kissed?
Yes, by Remy.
Before I did the whole overthinking thing I excelled at, I leaned forward and kissed him first. Remy’s eyes widened, and he smiled. Me, I was full of the swirly, giggly bubbles, which overflowed into full-blown laughter. To anyone passing by, they’d surely believe I’d lost my mind.
“You okay?”
