Page 17 of The Lost Art of Woodworking and Taking Risks
Chamis nodded again, though his stomach was alight with butterflies.
“And we’re going to go at your speed. Because”—he raised his voice a little and just kept talking when he saw that Chamis had opened his mouth—“we never want to be doing something that we’re not both comfortable with because that’s not how relationships work, right?”
Bennan eyed him sternly, and Chamis had to stop for a moment and actually think about how he was going to respond to that.
“I don’t want to feel like I’m holding you back,” he admitted quietly.
Bennan looked him straight in the eye. “And I would feel terrible if I thought I was forcing you to do something you weren’t ready for yet. I stopped approaching you because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable—even though I wanted to feed you sweet things every single day and listen to the noises you make.”
Chamis felt the heat of another blush spread across his face, but he didn’t feelonlyembarrassment. It was nice to hear that Bennan liked things about Chamis.
“All right,” Chamis said. “I’ll try to be good about that. And could you—”
But he wasn’t sure he could get the words out. Bennan leaned forward, reached out, then made a face, stood up and actually dragged the chairs closer together, plopping down again and reaching for Chamis’s arm once again.
“Wow,” he said. “You have amazingly long arms. You were able to touch my mouth easily.”
And Chamis could only laugh, some of the tension dissipating at Bennan’s matter-of-fact insistence on making things better for them.
He squeezed Chamis’s arm. “Ask me anything. I mean it.”
Chamis eyed him. “And you’ll tell me ifyoudon’t want to do it? I feel like this is all about me getting what I want. I appreciate that you’re willing to make concessions for me, but if you make all the concessions, that’s not good either, is it?”
Bennan’s eyes were soft. He shook his head. “We need to work together. And if you’ll tell me when you’re uncomfortable, I’ll do the same.” He huffed a breath, looking suddenly thoughtful. “And I see how I’ve been making you a bit uncomfortable. I wouldn’t have said much fazes me, but that declaration that I would tell you if Iwasuncomfortable actually made me a bit uncomfortable. Huh. I guess it takes some practice to show what could be perceived as a weakness to other people, right?”
Chamisnodded, managing a smile for the other man; he’d expressed what Chamis could probably never have articulated, but that was exactly it.
“We’ll both try,” Chamis said, liking the way he could link them together like that.
And then Bennan remembered. “What was it you wanted me to do? ‘Could I’ what?”
Reminding himself that the man had just acknowledged that this was hard, Chamis coaxed the words out.
“Could you maybe check from time to time, about how I’m feeling about”—ah, there was the traitorous blush, burning up his cheeks again—“being intimate? I really appreciate that you’re leaving it up to my comfort level, but if I’m the one who has to bring it up…”
He trailed off, but thankfully, Bennan seemed to get it.
“That would be an awful lot of pressure, and you might not talk about it not because you didn’t want to do it but because you were maybe a bit embarrassed and didn’t know how to broach it?”
Chamis nodded, relieved. “I don’t know how you understand me so well, but it’s really amazing.”
And to his amazement and secret delight, another one of those rare blushes showed on Bennan’s cheeks.
“I might have spent a lot more time watching you than I ever want to admit to?”
Chamis could only laugh. “I’m the one with an actual carving of you. I think I’ve got the ‘lot of time watching you’ covered.”
But this just made Bennan smile. “It’s truly astonishing and so beautiful. It’s so flattering to see how you see me. I love it, truly.”
Chamis swallowed. “I’m glad.”
It had been a labor of love, and he had a feeling that maybe Bennan had seen that—but it was definitely too early to saythat.
“All right,” Bennan said firmly. “I’m really glad you said that. That’s exactly what I meant about compromising and talking to one another. You tell me when there’s something you need, and I tell you when there’s something I need. And we’ll ask questions if we’re confused.”
Chamis’s lips quirked up.
“Like how we both wanted each other but thought the other person didn’t?”
