Page 18 of The Lost Art of Woodworking and Taking Risks
Bennan grinned at him. “Exactly. So sometimes, even if it seems kind of embarrassing or awkward, it’s really good to talk things out.”
“Like now?” Chamis proposed, because he was still a bit embarrassed.
“Exactly like now,” Bennan agreed with another grin. “But I’ve wanted this for a while, and I’m willing to have as many awkward conversations as necessary.”
Chamis nodded his head. The discomfort wasn’t exactly easy, but if he weighed that against the possibility of not having the other man, he definitely knew which he was going to choose.
Bennan drew a deep breath and huffed it out. “Which leads me to what I really want to talk about. The flirting.”
He actuallylookeduncomfortable now, his body stiff, his expression awkward, and Chamis didn’t like it at all.
“The flirting,” he repeated, confused.
Swallowing visibly, Bennan said, “I kind of do it a lot.”
“I know you do,” Chamis agreed, because that didn’thelp at all.
Still looking awkward, Bennan forged ahead. “It was why you thought I wasn’t interested. Because I was flirting with lots of other people.”
“And you stopped flirting with me,” Chamis pointed out.
Bennan smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Right. And I stopped flirting with you. I’m definitely happy to start flirting with you again if you’re all right with that.”
Chamis nodded, still confused. “I definitely like it when you do that. I mean, it stressed me out before because I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to react, if I was supposed to flirt back, or if I would say or do too much, and you didn’t mean it. But now I know you do mean it, so that’s all right.”
Bennan nodded, but he still didn’t look happy.
Chamis was quiet for a minute, waiting to see if the other man was going to continue, and then he pushed, “What am I missing?”
“I flirt with a lot of people,” Bennan said.
Chamis nodded slowly, venturing, “You said that.”
“Iliketo flirt with people.”
“I certainly hope so, given how often you do it,” Chamis said with amusement.
Only then Bennan’s eyes flashed to his, something that looked an awful lot like misery in them. And finally, he understood what they were talking about.
It was his turn to lean across the chair and reach for Bennan’s hands, still a little surprised by his own daring in clasping them. He knew he’d done the right thing, though, because Bennan clutched them back.
“Youdolike it,” Chamis said gently, “so I hope you’re going to keep doing it as often as you want.”
The words seemed to be pulled out of Bennan’s mouth unwillingly. “But it made you unhappy.”
Chamis shook his head. “Not understanding made me unhappy. Or not thinking you meant anything by your attention to me. But you’ve made very clear today that your attention to me is sincere and meaningful. It is, isn’t it?”
Bennan nodded emphatically. “Of course.”
“That’s that, then. I would never ask you to stop being you.”
“But are you sure it won’t upset you?” Bennan demanded, staring at him intently.
Thinking about this, Chamis admitted, “Well, I guess I can’t be absolutely certain until we’ve tried it out. It did make me uncomfortable in the past, but I’m pretty sure that was mostly jealousy because they were getting what I wanted. I don’t think it will be a problem now.”
“But what if it is?”
Chamis had never thought he’d be in a position to answer these sorts of questions or be in a relationship. Only now that he was here, he found it really was like anything else. He just had to think about his answer and give it honestly.
