“It is,” he said, voice a bit tight, even though he’d tried to sound calm.
“Right,” Perian agreed. “And I’m a big believer in liking what I like and not taking nonsense from anyone about it. But the problem with that seems to be that sometimes, people think that a sort of… general appreciation is something more than that.”
Chamis nodded, feeling his ears get hot. He knew Bennan wasn’t really interested in him, that he hadn’t been truly interested even back when he’d still been flirting. He didn’t want to have tosaythat.
“I think he’s hot,” Perian continued bluntly. “He’s flattered by my interest. It’s how we communicate. It doesn’t actually mean anything.”
Chamis nodded stiffly and forced the words out, “I know it doesn’t mean anything.”
“And that’s the problem,” Perian exclaimed.
He frowned. “You want it to mean something?”
Chamis didn’t know for sure how true the rumors were, but he’d been given to understand that Perian and Summus were together. Of course,now there was also a rumor about Perian and Molun and Arvus. And now Perian and Bennan—and Chamis had seen them with his own two eyes, though he couldn’t be certain of precisely what they were doing.
Was this just a way to pass the time until Summus returned? It didn’t really seem wise to treat the head of the Mage Warriors like that. Or did they have one of those relationships that was open or composed of more than two people? Chamis had enough trouble envisioning a relationship with one other person, but it was abundantly clear he and Perian weren’t very similar.
“Not for me,” Perian clarified. “The problem is that you think it doesn’t mean anything foryou.”
Blinking, Chamis rolled this around in his head for a moment, but he was just confused. His gaze darted up to Perian’s. “He doesn’t care about me. You just said he’s like that with everyone.”
Looking so very earnest, Perian told him, “He often expresses himself with flirtation, sure, which had the unfortunate side effect of making it difficult for the person heisinterested in to realize he meant it.”
Chamis shook his head, the negation welling up through him as he realized what Perian seemed to be saying. “No. Why would he be interested in me?”
Perian’s hazel eyes were bright, their warmth ensnaring Chamis. “Because you teach your sisters how to climb trees. And run around the entire city trying to find the right color ribbon that will match their dresses because they wrote you a letter to say they couldn’t find what they needed. Because you swap shifts with people when they want to take their sweethearts out, and check in with whoever ran slowest in the laps around the quadrangle. Because you send money back to your mother. Because youdon’t seem to realize how much he looks at you when you’re not looking at him. How his gaze always goes to see if you’re looking at him, and the disappointment on his face when you’renot. Only I’ve been watching too, so I know that’s only because your eyes have already darted away.”
Chamis stared at Perian in blank astonishment.
“He stopped,” he managed to stutter out. “He stopped flirting with me. He stopped asking me out. He really… he really knows all that?”
Perian nodded fast, looking hopeful. “Because you got uncomfortable, and the last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable. I really like him, and he helped me out a lot when I was injured. I wouldn’t normally tell someone else what he told me in confidence, except I feel sure I can trust you with his feelings because I can see yours. He has no idea I’m doing this, and you absolutely don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. But that man issointerested in you, and if you think you can take a chance, I promise you, it will be worth it.”
Chamis sucked in a breath. “I didn’t think he was paying attention.”
“He wasalwayspaying attention. That whole tunic revealing thing”—Perian waved his hand in front of his own torso as though to illustrate—“allfor you.”
A little laugh escaped Chamis without his meaning it to. “It wassohard to pay attention to anything else.”
“I know, right?” Perian said, grinning brightly, eyes sparkling. “It should be banned. Or there should be specific viewing periods where that’s all we’re supposed to do.”
Chamis laughed again, feeling weirdly buoyant, which probably explained why he admitted in a rush, “I thought you were going totell me off.”
“Oh, no,” Perian said, eyes widening, expression dismayed. “I would never. I mean, not unless you were aftermyman, and even then, he’s his own man, and he gets to decide what he wants to do. You’d have to do something way more obvious than look at him with little hearts in your eyes.”
Chamis could feel that traitorous blush again. “You’re saying I was being completely obvious?”
“Well, clearly notthatobvious, or Bennan would have realized that he should keep trying,” Perian said with a winning smile.
Chamis sighed. “I really thought it fleeting, something he does with everyone. There are just so many appealing people here, you know?”
Perian nodded, looking surprisingly serious. “I’m not sure it ever really makes sense when someone decides that you’re the one person they want above all others.”
Chamis hadn’t expected that someone like Perian would feel anything similar. “Yes, that’s exactly it. And I know I’m not as outgoing and… and exciting as a lot of the other Warriors.”
“I don’t think that matters,” Perian said gently. “I have never heard someone get so excited about hair ribbons before.”
Chamis ducked his head a little, face hot with embarrassment. “I didn’t know he was listening.”
