Page 32 of The Lost Art of Woodworking and Taking Risks
Bennan and Chamis took it upon themselves to shepherd the young man. They’d been proved right in their assumption that the first few days of separation would be particularly hard, and they did their best to distract him. (The weather was mostly fine, thankfully, and not even the occasional drizzle could dampen Ryac’s ardor.) They pointed out that he could start writing letters even now, and Bennan actually convinced him that it would be an amazing showing of devotion if he were to write a letterevery single day. Even if he bundled a few of them together to send, wouldn’t it demonstrate just how much he was thinking of her?
This sent the young man into a fevered desire to do exactly that, with the addition of trying his hand at poetry. (Chamis had thought he didn’t have an opinion on poetry one way or the other, but it turned out he was pretty sure hecouldactually tell when it was bad poetry. He’d restrained himself to a few careful remarks along the lines of being certain Livara would appreciate whatever he wrote, and Bennan very kindly offered a bit ofguidance.)
They did their best to make sure Ryac had plenty of pen and ink and paper, assured him that the world would not end when he broke the nib of his pen, and confirmed that yes, it would no doubt improve the interest of his letters if he used different-colored ink, but perhaps that could be done once they were back in the city rather than while they were traveling. They also agreed it would add interest to the letters if he were to sketch where they were as they went and attach any interesting facts they learned on their journey—which led to the discovery that no, he did not have a lot of skill with drawing. They assured him he would surely improve with practice, and wouldn’t Livara like to see his progress.
Any time they passed through a town or village, they questioned random strangers to try to find out interesting facts that his lady love would like to hear about. Chamis had never spoken to so many strangers in his life, not since the ribbon debacle for his sister, not when it wasn’t in the execution of his duties. Bennan laughed at him a little—but also gave him extra kisses and cuddles and told him how proud he was.
Chamis still found it uncomfortable, that was for certain. But he’d been there. He’d been the person who thought they weren’t going to get to be with the one they wanted. He just couldn’t bring himself not to support this young man who really wanted so very much to be with Livara and to show her how much he cared—to the point that he’d give this distance a try to make sure that it was what they both really wanted.
Ryac and his feelings took up a lot of time and attention. In fact, it took up so much time that Chamis actually forgot about whathehad to be nervous for, which was probably just as well, except it meant that when they arrived back at the castle, it suddenly swamped him like a tidal wave.The butterflies erupted, his palms got all damp, and he was pretty sure his hands were shaking.
He managed to send Ryac off to post his letters. (Truly, it had better be love, or there was no way she was going to get through the sheer volume of his missives. Chamis had heard a recitation of more of the letters than he could truthfully say he’d wanted to. He still wasn’t certain how Ryac had found that much to talk about,but he had. As he watched the young man practically pelt off to post the letters, he suspected there would be a wedding in his future.)
And then it was just Bennan and Chamis, and he was back to thinking abouttheirlife andtheirrelationship—and hoping he hadn’t done something very stupid.
Chapter Nine
Bennan seemed to notice his change in mood.
“What is it?” he asked. “Is everything all right?”
“I hope everything’s all right,” Chamis said.
He could feel the heat in his face. His head was starting to swim, and he was finding it hard to concentrate, and he wasn’t at all certain that he was all right after all, but he wasn’t sure he could explain that just now, and—
Bennan grabbed his hand and tugged him away, and it was only in its absence that Chamis realized just how noisy it had been, so many people crying and exclaiming and talking, talking, talking because they’d been separated for months.
In the quiet, he felt a little bit like he could breathe again, and then he felt like an idiot, and he was sure that Bennan could feel how sweaty his hand was, and that wasn’t very appealing, only once they’d gone down acorridor where there was no one in sight, thank goodness, Bennan let go of his hand and instead wrapped his arms around Chamis and held him tight.
“Hey,” he said.
And Chamis blew out a breath and settled against the man.
“Hey,” he said back, matching his breathing to his boyfriend’s, feeling the steady beat of his heart.
“There we go,” Bennan said. “You all right?”
“Better now.” He cleared his throat. Much as he wanted to put it off, he needed to say something now, or this was only going to get more disastrous. “But I, uh, did something, and while it now seems like the stupidest thing to have done without talking to you first, it’s going to become obvious pretty soon, and I wanted to surprise you, but I’m not sure that was a good idea at all, and now Ihaveto tell you, or at least show you, and I’m more nervous than I thought I’d be.”
Bennan had drawn back so he could see Chamis, and the expression on his face said that he was still confused. But he’d been putting up with Chamis for a while now, and after a moment, he seemed to work his way through everything, and he ventured, “There’s something you’d like to show me?”
Chamis swallowed convulsively and nodded. He drew a deep breath, blew it out, knew that his fingers were even sweatier—they felt cold and weird—but Bennan held out his hand anyway, and Chamis curled his fingers around his boyfriend’s and really hoped this wasn’t a disaster.
He tried to remind himself why he’d thought this was a good idea, but it was like there were only crickets in his brain. He had no ideawhat he’d been thinking, and he would cancel it, he really would, but… he’d still have to tell Bennan something.
Bennan squeezed his hand.
“It’s all right. Whatever it is, just show me.”
So Chamis squared his shoulders, nodded his head, and pulled Bennan through the hallways. It wasn’t until he said, “Hey, hold up,” that Chamis realized he’d been striding so fast that the other man had actually needed to half run to keep up. He felt his face heat, and he slowed down immediately.
“Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t mean to do it like this. Shouldn’t have done it at all.”
Oh, this was such a disaster. What had he been thinking?
But Bennan was still holding his hand, and he gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“It’s fine. Everything’s fine, all right?”
