Page 82 of Firedrake Betrayal
This must be a dream.
Then I remember what else has happened in my dreams and my heart stutters as I inch back another step. “A demon…”
She laughs again. “Not a demon. I’m you. No. I’m what you could be if you stopped being afraid.”
Something about the way she says it makes me defensive. I stiffen my back. “I’m not afraid all the time.”
Her smile widens. “Need I remind you of the attic?”
No, she doesn’t. I remember all about the attic. I remember hiding behind a door that wasn’t that strong, a bolt I could have kicked open if I wanted to, and my fear that kept me as much of a prisoner as any chain could have.
But it wassafe.
Dad had gone on a hunting trip and hadn’t come back. I’d sat in our apartment, like always, waiting, chewing on my nail and waiting some more.
And then the knock came after another sleepless night of sitting on the floor watching the front door. I’d fallen in my scramble to open it, thinking it was Dad, swung the door open and it wasn’t Dad at all.
It was an older, graying man I’d never seen before. My uncle, he said.
Dad wasn’t coming back, and I had to go with him.
He’d avoided saying Dad was dead because he wasn’t. I didn’t learn it until years later. But back then, life as I knew it was over.
In shock, I’d gone, and that had been the start of my new life living in an attic with a man who wasn’t my uncle at all, but a reclusive former neighbor.
Where else would I have gone when I believed the only person I loved was dead?
“The attic was safe,” I say instead.
“The world can be safe.” She takes a step toward me, and her expression hardens. Fierce. “But you have to make it.”
I edge back and my right heel dips into the cool water. I yank it out again before something can reach out and drag me in. Is that why the pool of water is so terrifying?
“I don’t know what you mean.”
She smiles and her eyes flash yellow. Not gold like Shep’s eyes. This is like staring into the hottest part of a flame, so intense I want to look away. Yet I can’t. “Yes, you do.”
I struggle to think of a response as she closes the distance between us. “You ran away from me before. I was trying to show you what we could be, and you didn’t want to see.”
“I didn’t run away. I’ve never seen you be?—”
“The kitchen. You looked at the refrigerator and you saw me.”
What I saw was a gold firedrake. Not her. Or me. I scrub a hand over my face. Shit, this is getting really confusing.
“What do you want?” She must want something, and I’m still not convinced she isn’t Patten’s dad in disguise looking to feed on me.
“Nothing,” she says simply.
She’s a foot away from me now. So close the heat from her body is intense, like standing beside a roaring fire. Her eyes are still that flame yellow, and if I could back up some more without falling, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
“Actually. I do want something. For you to embrace what we are. Always scared, running, hiding, never fighting the way you could. It’s boring.”
“No, I don’t?—”
“That demon who tried to feed on us.” Her voice is vicious and her eyes flare even brighter. Orange now. “We hurt him. Made him burn. Made him afraid of us. The world scares you because you let it. Fight.”
“How do I do that?” I ask, my mouth dry.
