Page 146 of Jayson
“She didn’t run away.”
He says it so softly. So gently. Thinking it will hurt less. But it rips through me.
I jerk back, almost falling off the bed. “No—no, she was just gone. She left. She left me.”
“She didn’t leave you,” he says. “She died.”
I scream.
It’s not loud. It’s not even real at first. Just a noise that starts in my ribs and spills out of my mouth before I know what it is. My lungs refuse to work. My hands clutch my throat like I can stop the truth from getting in. But it’s too late. It’s already inside me.
I see flashes.
Her hair. Her laugh. Her voice asking if I wanted another juice box.
My head pounding. My mouth dry. Her fingers shaking as she tugged my arm, saying we had to go.
Then silence. A door slamming. Someone laughing.
I collapse to the floor, knees hitting hardwood. My body folds around itself. I’m cold, then hot, then shaking so hard I think I’ll vomit.
“He said she screamed,” Jayson says, still kneeling. Still holding on. “She fought back. She tried—Keira, she tried.”
“No, no—stop. Stop, I can’t—” I claw at my skin, trying to rip the memories out. They come in flashes, broken shards of thingsI’ve never been able to hold onto.
“She was right there,” I whisper. “Iheardher. I thought it was a dream. I thought—I thought?—”
Tears blind me. They burn. They scald like acid.
“She died because of me,” I choke.
Jayson grabs my face, forces me to look at him. “Don’t youeversay that.”
“She was trying to save me!” I scream. “And I forgot her. I let themeraseher!”
He holds me as I fall apart. My fists beat his chest. My screams tear through the silence of the house. Lula runs to the door, but Kanyan catches her, shakes his head.
Let her break. Let her bleed.
I cry until I can’t breathe. Until I taste blood. Until my voice is a ruined thing in my throat and I don’t know where I end and the pain begins.
“She was my best friend,” I whisper.
“I know,” Jayson says, his voice wrecked.
“She was mysister.”
“I know.”
He rocks me, his chest rising and falling like he’s drowning with me.
“Where is she?”
“She’s under a church,” he manages.
My scream echoes through the room. “They buried her like a secret.”
“She’s not forgotten,” he says, voice sharp now. Furious. “She’ll never be forgotten, Keira.”
