Page 47 of Surprise Twins for the Mafia Prince
“You sound so sure about everything. So calm.”
I am sure. I might not have seen how important Paige was to me at first—and knowing that I was prepared to kill her for taking my flash drive makes bile rise in the back of my throat—but I’m a man who learns and adapts. I adapted to the idea of being a father, and that led me to the realization that Paige is more important to me than any other woman has ever been. I’m falling for her.
I can’t help it. She’s strong and nurturing. I can already tell she’s going to be an amazing mother. Despite her shitty childhood, she’s kind, but she’s not weak.
More than all of that, she makes me feel like I can be more than I ever thought possible. A good man. A provider.
I’ve always embraced my role in the mafia, and my loyalty to my family is and will always be ironclad, but I’ve never felt like I’m more than what’s expected of me. When I was young and ridiculed for things I couldn’t control, I worried it would make people see me as lesser. That kind of thing can ruin a man’s ability to lead, especially when it comes to an organization as powerful as the one my family runs.
So I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to overcome the insecurities that were drilled into me as a kid. I’ve suppressed every perceived weakness, yet I’ve still always felt like I’m faking my way through life, pretending I’m worthy of being the next Don.
Deep down, I’ve never truly possessed the confidence I pretend to have.
But when Paige looks at me like I can keep her safe, trusting me to provide for her even if she doesn’t trust me with her heart yet, it makes me feel like I’m capable of anything for the first time in my life. She’s not using me for my money and power like so many other women have. She sees who I am, and she believes I’m capable of taking care of her anyway.
“I know what I want,” I say, not telling her thatshe’swhat I want because I know she’s not ready to hear it yet. “Tell me what you want.”
She starts to nibble her bottom lip but winces and stops when she remembers she broke the skin earlier. That’s a nervous habit I’m going to have to help her break.
“I want the babies,” she says. “I need to be clear about that. I’m happy that I’m going to have a family of my own, but everything else seems so uncertain right now. I don’t feel like I’m on even ground at all. My future isn’t in my hands. A part of me feels like it never really has been, not since the night my dad died.”
“You need to feel in control.” It’s a statement, not a question. I understand this need better than she knows. “How can I make that happen?”
A smile flickers across her face but disappears quickly.
“You’re not going to like it, but it would be nice if you could get rid of my babysitters.”
“You mean, your bodyguards?”
Paige scoffs. “Let’s not pretend that they’re only there for my protection. I’m not going anywhere, either.”
Something close to panic settles in the pit of my stomach, and I grind my teeth together. If I agree to this, she could leave mewhile I’m out taking care of business. But if I refuse, I’m not only telling her I don’t trust her; I’m refusing to give her the control she wants over her own life.
I know she’s not asking for much. She’s not trying to leave me. At least, I don’t think so.
My mind conjures up a memory of the first girlfriend I ever had. We were only thirteen, so it wasn’t exactly a love connection, but I remember thinking I was lucky to have caught the attention of the pretty blonde head of student council. Until I overheard her making fun of me with her best friend. She thought I was an embarrassing idiot because of the stutter I struggled with back then, but she wanted to see what it was like to date the bad boy everyone suspected was connected to the mafia.
I sigh through my nose and push the humiliating memory away. I shouldn’t still care about that. It was fourteen years ago, for fuck’s sake. I don’t even remember that girl’s name, but the embarrassment I felt when I learned what she really thought of me has always lingered like a poison.
I shouldn’t be thinking of it now. My situation with Paige is completely different. She’s not some shallow teenage girl, and I’m not a stuttering idiot anymore. But the dread I feel right now is so similar to what I felt with every girl I dated for years after that first heartache. Even after I stopped stuttering, I worried that any girl I cared about would realize they were too good for me. Eventually, I stopped caring about women as more than a way to relieve stress. I’d fuck them and move on before they could dump me.
And now...everything is different with Paige. I know that I don’t stutter anymore, and the logical part of my brain tells me that she wouldn’t be a heartless bitch about it even if I did, but whenI think about giving her the freedom she asks for, I can’t stop thinking that she’ll disappear on me.
“I promise I’m not going anywhere.We’renot going anywhere,” she says, and there’s understanding in her eyes, even though she can’t possibly know what’s running through my mind.
Maybe she sees my fear, my insecurity. I hide it so well from everyone else, even my brother, despite how close we are. But Paige sees it, even if she doesn’t understand it.
That realization is what gets me to push past my uncertainty.
“Okay,” I say. “I won’t keep men at the apartment with you, but if you leave, I want someone with you every time. I’ll put some numbers in your phone. Alessio, Matteo, Luca.”
“Luca?”
“My brother.”
She’d been smiling, but it fled her face at the mention of Luca like someone flipped a switch.
“Another Andretti,” she says, the words full of acid.
