Page 195 of Mexico Can Choke On It
I whip around—and yep. There she is. My busted beauty. Dangling mid-air like she just lost a bar fight.
“Hana, watch Ruby,” I announce, scrambling to my feet. “Her virgin ears cannot be exposed to the profanity parade I’m about to unleash.”
I storm down the sidewalk, my red dress billowing like the cape of a very pissed-off superhero.
“HANDS OFF MY RIDE,JACKASS!”
And there he is. The gnome from my nightmares. Officer. Freaking. Cockburn—radiating the energy of a man whose wife left him for someone with a bigger… badge.
“Overnight parking is prohibited seven p.m. to five a.m. in residential zones.” He points at the street sign. “It’s seven-oh-two, sweetheart. You can read, can’t you?”
“Are you shitting me, Cockburn? You’re committing grand theft auto over TWO MINUTES?” I plant my hands on my hips. “This is harassment disguised as enforcement, and you know it.”
“You can slap on heels and marry into money, but I see you. Still the same spoiled brat who thinks the rules don’t apply. I know your type well—hell, Imarriedit. She smiled like that too. Right up until she took the house, the car, and my hairline.”
Bryce materializes at my elbow, slightly winded. “Need reinforcements?”
“From you? Always and forever. For this glorified traffic goblin? I eat dickweasels like him for breakfast.”
Cockburn turns to Bryce like he’s handing down divine wisdom. “Pro tip—women like this will steamroll your existence if you don’t establish dominance early. Otherwise, youthinkyou’ve set the rules, until suddenly you’re sleeping in your truck. Meanwhile, your ex is remodeling your kitchen and renaming your dog.”
Bryce’s face goes stone-cold serious. “Oof. You just said that. Out loud. To my wife.” He shakes his head. “Yeah, man… You’re about to lose your egoandyour pension. Buckle up.”
I step into Cockburn’s personal space, channeling every law textbook I’ve ever cracked.
“Selective enforcement is discrimination. You’ve targeted this address before, and I’ve got the citations to prove it. Two-minute grace periods are standard, and you’re about to become my firstofficiallaw school project.”
I rip the citation from his stubby fingers with dramatic flourish. “See you in court, Officer Fuckface.”
Spinning on my heel, I stride back toward our house, riding high.
Bryce jogs to catch up, grinning. “So… no gap year?”
“Hell no. I’ve got a war to wage and a list of assholes to annihilate.”
Without warning, Bryce sweeps me off my feet, breaking into a full sprint toward our front door. “GAVIN! HANA!” he shouts. “Childcare emergency! My wife just verbally destroyed a man, and I need to show her how hot that was!”
“Boundaries! Seriously!” Gavin shouts back.
“True love is so beautiful!” Hana sighs dreamily.
I crash my lips against Bryce’s as he bulldozes through our front door, tasting promises and the kind of forever I never felt I deserved.
I was the girl everyone wrote off—the family screw-up, the troublemaker, the one who’d never amount to anything. I thought I had to change everything about myself to be worthy of love, success, or belonging.
Turns out, I had it backwards.
This is what happily ever after actually looks like—not changing who you are, but embracing your most unapologetic self with a partner who welcomes your chaos as something beautiful. Wealth didn’t polish my rough edges. Marriage didn’t make me behave. Motherhood didn’t quiet my rebellion.
I’m still the girl who spray-painted a dick on her car trunk, calls out bullshit when I see it, and fights for the underdog with everything I’ve got.
Turns out the girl who never belonged anywhere was exactly who she was supposed to be the whole time.
And that’s more fucking beautiful than anything money could buy.
***
