Page 21 of Wolfish Heart
My poor sweet baby.
I knew my family was a handful, but I didn’t think they would freak her out this much. Maybe it’s more that Zoe is stressed out from this entire situation. It feels like our preferential treatment in restaurants might be part of a larger issue.
I just have to find a way to get her to talk to me about it openly.
14
ZOE
Oh no.
I’ve been trying so hard to play it cool and hold myself together. Then I get totally rattled and word-vomit all over Kaden. Even worse, his brothers heard me. I know they did.
I feel like a pile of shame here on the floor, with tears streaming down my cheeks.
I have an incredible man who clearly cares about me… Why am I so terrified?
I think seeing the guys together kind of pointed out how incredibly different our families are. I have no siblings. Not even any cousins my own age. Henry is old enough that he’s practically an uncle.
Meanwhile, Kaden has this close-knit circle of his family and friends in town, and assistants, and who knows who else.
Staring down at the floor, I try to breathe. I’ve never had a panic attack before. Or maybe this is an embarrassment attack. Are those a thing?
Kaden scoops me into his arms and carries me to the couch. He sits a polite distance away and discreetly nudges a box oftissues on the coffee table toward me. “Take as much time as you need, baby, but I’d really like to hear what’s on your mind.”
His hand lands gently on my knee. “If you need some time alone, I can leave for a while. Would that help?”
“No…I…no. Please, stay.”
I wipe my eyes, blow my nose, and get my breathing under control. “I’ve never had that kind of a meltdown before, I’m so sorry. Your brothers must think?—”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what they think.” His thumb strokes the side of my knee. “I always want you to tell me what’s going on in that lovely head of yours. Even if it comes out like kind of an explosion, we’ll sweep up the mess together, okay?”
He always knows just what to say. It makes me tear up again.
Kaden sits back, no longer touching me, but staying close. “Breathe all the way in…hold. Breathe all the way out…hold. Good. Keep doing that, nice and steady.”
The tears stop after just two breaths, but I keep going for a few extra moments.
“I’d like you to repeat everything that you said earlier, but slowly,” he says softly. “If not today, then another time. But I want to know everything you’re thinking.” He sighs. “I think maybe you’re even shyer and more introverted than I realized. Which is fine. It just means I need to be more cautious.”
Reaching out, I rest my hand on top of his. “I’m sorry that it came out as such a jumbled mess. It’s like… There are all these thoughts that are more impressions and feelings, not so much words.”
Kaden odds. “Okay. Use the wrong words, or just describe the feelings. Dump it all out in a mess, then we’ll untangle it.”
Clearing my throat, I smile. “You’d make an excellent therapist, did you know that?”
His eyebrow arches. “Well, I’ve had a lot of practice, helping four younger siblings get their heads on straight.” He grinswidely. “And yes – I’ve stood in front of a boardroom filled with a dozen suits and made them all take a deep breath as well.”
I laugh for just a moment, then try to collect my scattered thoughts.
“I’m – scared,” I finally whisper. “I never really pictured what kind of relationship I’d end up in. Then suddenly you seem to want me to move right into this gigantic house that’s made for ten people. Everyone in town is acting like we’re already a couple. And you guys get special treatment everywhere you go and don’t even…I mean, yes, I guess youacknowledgeit…but it’s not a big deal to you. It’s a very big deal to me, though.”
He flips his hands and takes mine. “Go on. Why is it a big deal?”
“Everyone in this town has been watching you forever. They know you. Or at least, they know the public version of you. What are they going to think if you end up with an outsider?”
Kaden blows out a breath. “Okay. I think I understand. I should have warned you a bit more about the staring and the gossip. I’m sorry about that. I’ll be more careful to let you know in advance what kind of situations we’re walking into, too.”
