Page 9 of Little Girls Sleeping
“I don’t know how much I’ve changed. I still love ponies, rabbits, and raccoons.”
A memory caught at her, of her mom when she was teaching Katie how to draw. Memories could be cruel, like a gust of cold wind, but wonderful for the very fact that she had been lucky enough to experience them.
Katie and her uncle wandered around the gallery discussing technique and mood, sharing laughs and friendly debates. It was another forty minutes before they decided to go to one of their favorite diner restaurants, Burger Mania, reputed to serve the best hamburgers west of the Mississippi.
After they’d placed their orders, they settled in at their compact booth, sipping colas. The place was crowded, and the conversations around them rose in volume, but it couldn’t spoil Katie’s enjoyment of this time spent with her uncle. She realized that since she had been back, she had been struggling with her emotions and feelings of anxiety. Keeping certain feelings in check still caused her some grief. She looked down at the table.
“What’s on your mind?” asked Wayne.
She took a breath and answered honestly. “What’s not? I don’t know. Everything’s on my mind. Does that make any sense?”
“Ever since you were a little girl, you were so serious about everything. So yes, I believe that you hold a lot in that brain of yours.”
“There’s no lying to you.” She watched the ice cubes in her soda slowly melt.
“Not likely.”
“I thought things here would be like they’ve always been. Slow, laid-back, and keeping that same small-town charm.”
“Like before you left?”
“Well, yeah, why not? It hasn’t been that long.”
“Places change all the time. People change. A way of life changes. You can’t freeze time or expect things to stay the same. They never will, no matter how hard you try to hold onto them.”
“I’m looking for an easy answer, but there isn’t one.” Katie ran her fingertips across her paper napkin. “I guess I’m having difficulty making decisions right now.”
“Then don’t.”
“It’s just—”
“Katie, you’re young. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I assume you’re talking about going back to Sacramento PD?” He watched her carefully.
“Yes.”
“And perhaps some feelings for an old friend?” He smiled.
“No… Well, maybe.”
He reached out and squeezed her hand. “Don’t push yourself. Let things move the way they should—naturally. You’ll know what to do when it’s time.”
“You’re right,” she said. “I don’t want to make any rash decisions yet about getting back on patrol. Don’t tell anyone, but I kind of like working in records. It’s quiet, soothing, and keeps my mind busy. No gunfire, no explosives…”
A tall, thin waitress with an extremely long braided ponytail brought their plates, with towering burgers and heaping piles of fries. “You need anything else?” she asked, resting her hands on her hips.
“No, we’re fine right now,” the sheriff replied.
“I’ll freshen up those sodas in a bit,” the waitress said, and was gone.
“I think there’s more you’re not telling me, that you’re not wanting to process right now,” Wayne said.
Katie nodded and couldn’t quite meet her uncle’s gaze.
“I’ve always been one of your biggest supporters in whatever you’ve decided to do. And you still haven’t reached your potential—not even close.” He poured catsup onto his plate and immediately dunked several fries into the red sauce.
Katie took a bite of her hamburger, and swallowed before she continued. “I know you want to ask me why I joined the army.”
“You wanted to do something bigger than yourself. At least that’s what you said at the time.”
