Page 49 of Nodus Tollens
We weren’t friends. We weren’t lovers. So, what did that leave us with? A sad, hopeless story of what could never be? Maybe, but my stupid heart wouldn’t accept that. Even my soul knew it was wrong to let this man go without giving him a chance.
I was screwed.
Majorly, unbelievably screwed, and it was with a soft cry and a lone tear that I stood up and reached for the jersey. With Kate lying on her bed and messing around on her phone, she stopped what she was doing and watched me with curious eyes.
“Let’s go.” I forced out, feeling terrified and exhilarated all at the same time.
Eyes narrowed, she let her phone drop between her bent legs.
“What do you mean?”
“The game. The hockey game. I want to go.” I explained, even though my tone made it seem like I was less than thrilled about the idea.
Taken aback, she looked at me like I had two heads.
“You… actually want to go?” She drawled out her words, causing me to roll my eyes.
With the jersey in my hand, I nodded.
“Yes, I want to go.” I gave her a shy smile that I knew she was not expecting, and in return, I received the most genuine reaction from her. A look I’ve never seen, especially with me. You could see just how proud she was. With a big smile that could light up a whole room, she leaped off her bed and attacked me with her arms around my neck.
“You deserve this, Wren. So much, and I’m so happy you’re finally seeing that.” She spoke into my neck, and she squeezed me tighter. I let myself soak in her warmth and the realization that she may have been right this whole time.
What was the point of living when you weren’t actually ‘living’? These were the words Kate had told me, and even now, it still struck a nerve just thinking about them. It only hurt because I knew it was right. For so long, I had managed to stay invisible to the world. I dressed a certain way, acted a certain way, and looked a certain way to protect others. The fewer people I knew, the less it would hurt in the end.
Little did I know, I’d only be hurting myself.
“Now, will you please let me do your hair and makeup? I’ve literally been dreaming of this day forever, Wren.” She leaned back to give me room and swept a finger through my flat, blonde hair.
“Yes, fine, but don’t go too overboard.” I chuckled, finally feeling somewhat free from the stronghold that my insecurities and worry had over me. I had to at least try. For the sake of my happiness and peace, with the little time I did have left, I wanted to experience life to the fullest.
Okay, maybe not the fullest, but a decent amount, where I could at least say I did it.
That I had at least done something in my short time.
And with a smile on my face, I let the foreign feeling of excitement take over.
13
WREN
“Yup, I knew it. This man is definitely in love.” Kate mumbled as I followed close behind her down the steps of the stands. The closer and closer we got to the front, I finally began to understand why she said what she had said. Our seats were directly in front of the glass, and for some reason, that made me even more nervous. “I’ve never been able to get tickets this close!” She squealed as she hopped the rest of the way to our seats and gave me the goofiest, most excited grin ever.
“You don’t think he’s actually going to come up to the glass, do you?” I hesitantly asked as I slowly made my way through the narrow walkway and glanced over to the vacant ice. I could feel the anxiety slowly creeping into my system, but I had to at least be thankful for the fact that I wasn’t alone. At least Kate would be here to endure the embarrassment with me.
“Uh, he better. I have multiple fantasies about Hendricks that involve his gear and the ice. And let me tell you…” She swiped her fingers across her forehead and sighed. “If just the fantasy is enough to bring me to orgasm, I can only imagine what the real thing would do.”
Throwing her a snort, I gradually fell into my seat and peered off in front of me. The whole arena, or whatever the hell you called it, was unbelievably huge. There had to have been at least ten thousand seats scattered all around, and I could tell it was filling up quickly. All sorts of people were showing up, from older men and women to college students and young children. It must have been a universal sport that everyone enjoyed, and although I may not be a huge fan, I could adamantly say that I was curious. More so about one player in particular, but curious, nonetheless.
“We need to curl your hair more often.” Kate said as I felt her stare burning a hole through the side of my face. My short locks were perfectly curled into soft waves that ended at the very bottom of my shoulder blades. I felt beautiful for once, especially with my makeup done and a cute pair of jeans to compliment the jersey I was wearing. I knew I wasn’t a ‘stand out’ type of beautiful, where people would stop and stare and wonder who I was. No, not at all, but I felt a normal type of beautiful. I blended in with everyone, and to the rest of the world, I was just your average young woman.
I felt normal, and tonight, I would pretend I was.
“Well, if I do it, I can guarantee it won’t turn out like this.” I shook my curls and frowned. The most I do with my hair is brush and occasionally throw it into a short ponytail. That was the extent of my everyday hair process.
“It’s easy. I’m sure you could get the hang of it pretty quick.”
I doubted it, but I didn’t say that.
