Page 55 of Nodus Tollens
Her eyes fluttered and then on a sigh, she presented me with soft amber-hued eyes.
“I just don’t understand. Why me? Why continue to try and pursue something with me when I continually turn you down?”
Was she serious?
My fingers on her wrist loosened, but just enough to where I could entwine our fingers together.
“Why you?” I asked as if that was the most ridiculous question I had ever heard.
“It’s always been you. Even before we met It feels like I’ve known you before…a different place maybe or some other world where I called you my girl.”
I confessed causing her gasp.
“My Blue.”
More tears streamed down her beautiful face.
“Hayes…”
“Tell me you feel it too. Tell me that I’m not alone in this feeling…”
I could sense her struggle. Her defiance, but I knew, I just knew she felt this. She was just being so damn stubborn to admit it.
“It’s not that easy.” She responded. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because…. I can’t, Hayes. It doesn’t matter whether I feel the same way or not. I just realized back there that I can’t do this with you, and trust me, I’m doing you a favor.” Her voice was firm and steady, but I still couldn’t accept that. Not when it felt like this. Not when I was dying to hold her in my arms and take away all of her worries and pain until all that was left was us.
“What did you realize? How could you think that by letting this go, you’d be doing me a favor?” I shook my head as a horrible feeling slithered through me at the idea of letting her go.
No way.
Absolutely not. Not happening.
With my hand still clasped around her wrist, I began to slowly massage her wrist with the pads of my fingers. It was a good sign that she didn’t pull away, so I continued with the soothing gesture.
“That’s not doing me a favor, Blue…” I shook my head once again, then captured her stare. “Letting go of this isn’t negotiable, Blue. Not when I have the whole world, the sun, moon, and all the fucking stars standing right in front of me. Don’t ask me to let you go…”
Fuck.
Peering down at my feet, I felt my eyes begin to flutter as I held back a year’s worth of tears that had never fallen. Not with everything going on. Not with my dad, not with the shit going on with Mal, not with where my life was currently headed. I couldn’t lose her. I couldn’t lose the only good thing in my life right now.
“Hayes…” She took a hesitant step toward me and placed a finger just below my chin. At first, I couldn’t believe the woman of my dreams was actually touching me. Her soft skin was touching mine, and I instantly felt a sense of calmness rush over me from just her touch alone. “You don’t understand…” She begged through her tears. “I… I can’t do this.” Her voice wobbled on impact as I searched her eyes for the truth. We were closer than we’d ever been, standing toe to toe with only inches separating us, and I’ve never felt more at ease than I did at this moment. Though she was trying her damn hardest to get rid of me, I knew deep down that wasn’t what she wanted.
So, I took a chance.
I lowered my head and softly pressed our foreheads together until all I could inhale was her sweet and intoxicating aroma. Keeping my eyes open, I watched as hers fluttered closed with a sigh.
“You can, Blue.” I whispered. “You have to.” I begged softly, hoping my words were enough to change her mind. Stubborn, beautiful girl, she started to shake her head back and forth, but I swiftly cupped each of her cheeks in my palms and held her face. Her soft, delicate skin melted under my fingers, and I knew right then and there that this girl was mine.
All mine.
She didn’t respond. She tried to, but when her mouth opened and no words escaped, she snuggled deeper into my hands. So, we just sat and breathed each other in. The world around us might as well have vanished because, right now, there was no one else but Blue and I. We soaked in the silent, pivoting moment as if it was our last. My thumbs rubbed softly over her cheeks, then soon found their way to the back of her neck, where I entwined my fingers through her silky hair.
Every part of us was in synch, from our racing heartbeats to the gentle breaths that fell out of our mouths. Our souls were becoming one. Our hearts were mending together, and there was nothing stopping it now. Not even Blue could deny it.
Minutes passed. It could have been five minutes or twenty. Who knows, and who the hell cares. Blue was in my arms, and right now, I was zeroed in on her mouth. Her perfect mouth that I’ve been dying to taste.
