Page 87 of Nodus Tollens
I wanted him to stay with me, but the words came to a crashing halt when his dimpled smile peered down at me. I was totally out of my depth here. I had no clue what I was doing or what I was feeling, and despite the nerves coursing through me, I knew I couldn’t just let him leave. The irrational side of me never wanted to be apart from him. From dusk till dawn, I never wanted to leave his side. I wanted to soak up every second and every moment I could with him. Even if we were doing absolutely nothing, even if we were doing something I hated, I wanted to be near him. But at this moment, as our eyes connected on a deeper, more intense level, I recognized the need in his stare.
Longing.
And my gaze was mirroring his. I wanted longer, more intimate touches. I wondered what his hands would feel like stroking up and down my bare thighs or if his lips would feel just as soft and silky anywhere else on my body. With each passing day I spent with Hayes, I’ve only grown more curious. More needy, and he never went any further than light groping or kissing. It was perfect at first, but now, it started to make me question whether he was hesitant about me or about us. Or maybe was he worried about my heart.
I wasn’t even worried about it. More than anything, I wanted him inside me. Loving me. Filling me completely until all I could feel was him and our connection.
Heart, if you’re listening, please don’t fail on me yet. Let me have this man at least once.
“You’re adorable when you’re concentrating.” He interrupted.
Leaning down, he rested his mouth against my forehead and gave my skin a gentle kiss. Closing my eyes, I leaned into him. I loved his touch more than anything else in this world. Nothing could compare to his affection and sweet gestures.
Absolutely nothing.
“What are you thinking about so hard?” His words were mumbled across my head, causing a shiver to rake through me.
“I’m… nervous.” I admitted.
Pulling away from my head, he peered down at me worriedly.
“Why are you nervous, Blue?”
Swallowing, I reached for his palm and entwined our fingers together. Though my eyes were watching our connected hands, I could sense his relief as he gave my hand a tight squeeze.
“I’m always nervous around you.” I chuckled truthfully.
Using his free hand, he placed a firm finger underneath my chin and tilted it upward.
“This is different, though. Something’s bothering you.” He frowned.
Too many emotions were flowing through me now. All blundering together and creating a mass of confusion and desire that I wasn’t sure exactly what I was feeling more. The effects of a dangerous mind that never came with an off switch. I felt everything. I feared everything, but one thing was for certain, whenever Hayes looked into my eyes, for a flashing moment, my mind seized. Nothing existed but him and the pool of green and light-yellow specks that sparkled in his eyes. Tears threatened to fall from the severity of it all.
I had this man. He was all mine, and I never wanted to be without him. Even when I was gone, I hoped that one day I could find him again and love him till the end of time.
I loved Hayes Decker. I didn’t think it was possible for me to fall so hard. To love so much and so deeply that maybe the cure to my heart was him. Even if it wasn’t, in my eyes, he would be my saving grace. My remedy.
“Come in my room.” I blurted out, mentally slapping my forehead.
A small smile crossed his mouth, even though I could still see a hint of worry in his stare.
“I… I want you to come to my room with me. Please?”
With his finger still holding my chin, he took he pad of it and dragged it down my lower lip. It wasn’t meant to be sexual, but my tongue sought out his flesh. With the light flick of my tongue, I had his eyes flaring with heat.
“Blue…” He warned lowly. “I don’t want you nervous, thinking that I’m expecting anything tonight because I’m not. I want you comfortable, and if you just want to hang out, watch a movie, whatever. I’m more than okay with that.” He once again swiped his finger across my mouth, but this time he dragged it toward my cheek, where he was now cupping it. “As long as I’m with you, I don’t care what we do.”
My heart soared, and my mouth widened at his words.
“What if I want you to give me a massage and brush my hair? Would you be okay doing that?” I teased.
“These hands were made to give you a massage, baby, and brush your hair? I’ll wash it, brush it, braid it. Whatever the hell you want, I’ll do it.”
Yup, I was officially fully gone for this man.
Completely.
Chuckling, I pulled away from his hold and unlocked my door, revealing a room clouded in darkness. Glancing over my shoulder, I smiled happily and reached my hand out for his.
