Page 137 of Aftersome
In all my years knowing this guy, never had I once been around him long enough to engage in an actual one-on-one conversation. As much as I dreaded it, I at least was one step closer to seeing Doe.
“Yeah, not exactly fun without Wren either,” I grumbled.
He then glanced at me from the corner of his eye.
“Things goin’ good for you two?”
That was the first time anyone else had mentioned our relationship to me. It felt strange, but a sense of overwhelming pride filled me knowing that Doe and I were seen as a couple.
I nodded.
“She’s the best thing that could have ever happened to me,” I confessed.
He seemed to have liked that answer.
“I can see it,” he said on a cough. “Whenever you talk about her or mention that she’s in your life, you seem more… content. Happier, and it’s damn good to see.”
My breath had caught in my throat.
Was it really that noticeable now? At least to others and not just myself? I sure as fuck felt fortunate, I just didn’t expect others to notice, let alone care.
I felt exposed now.
Like layers of myself were coming undone and I was finally being discovered.
Noticed.
“I feel content.” I swallowed. “But I feel like it’s all too good to be true too.”
I wasn’t a stranger to bad things happening. If anything, I knew it all too well and the thought of losing Doe made it painful to take in a breath.
And I had no clue why I felt the need to confess that to James. It wasn’t like he understood or gave a fuck about what I felt.
I was the asshole teammate.
The one who shut everyone out, and I wouldn’t blame him for answering with the single word—karma.
It’s what I deserved anyway.
“Don’t let your worries run your life, Mal. I know it’s easy to do, because, hell… Even I worry about the future. My wife’s future. My son’s future. But I can’t dwell on things that I’m not in control of, or else I’ll just drive myself insane.”
I understood, more than he knew, but having someone else other than Hayes be my voice of reason felt fucking bizarre.
I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would either.
“Can I tell you something?” he asked, and I briefly peered over at his face.
A roguish smile was pulled across his mouth and I knew I had to say yes.
“Sure.”
“I saw you smile for the first time the other day.”
My eyebrows drew together.
What the hell? How is that… That can’t be right.
“When we played at Sutton, I would make inner bets with myself on whether you would smile or not. I even tried to come up with shitty jokes to tell you and not once did you ever crack one for me.” He chuckled and for a brief second, I went back through my past memories and an image of James and me at some frat party popped in my head.
