Fuck.
Why, baby? Why didn’t you tell us? Why couldn’t you have just… Fuck! Why couldn’t you have just told me?
“How long did you think you could keep this up, Wren? Till I fucking proposed? Till I got you pregnant?” I asked instead.
Her eyes went wide from the confession of all the things I wanted with her.
“I don’t know, Mal… I wasn’t—I wasn’t going to let this go on forever. I was just waiting for the right time.”
“The right time should have been the moment you fucking saw me. You know I can’t tell you no. You know that I’d do anything for you.”
I would’ve understood, or at least I would’ve tried to.
“I know, Mal. I know you would.”
“No, you don’t know, Wren. If you did, we wouldn’t be here now. Me questioning everything. Your trust… You. I don’t know what to believe anymore.” I ran a palm over my hair as a wave of dizziness hit me.
“You can trust me, Mal. Nothing about the time that I’ve been here has been a lie.”
Bullshit!I wanted to shout at her. Everything was built around a lie and I was foolish enough to fall for it.
“Can I really trust you?” I stared at her, unblinking.
“Of course you can!” she shouted.
Frantically, she began to pace. Back and forth until her breathing became labored.
“I don’t know if I fuckin’ can, Doe! And it kills me on the inside that I have to question you… Questionus.”
“Don’t…” she begged. “Don’t say that.”
“I have no other choice!” I roared. “You lied!”
She started to shake her head.
“You did this, Wren. You.”
I could barely look at her any longer. There were so many conflicting emotions that were running through me but I felt rage beginning to take over.
I began to pace. Back and forth, I could barely look at her and I noticed her breathing.
It sounded ragged, like she was having trouble finding air, then on a gasp, she shot her eyes toward me.
“Mal… I can’t…” She clutched onto her chest as frantic eyes sought out mine.
Something was wrong.
“It hurts,” she cried out, and I had to do something.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” I went to grab her but before she could respond, her eyes rolled back into her head as she collapsed into my awaiting arms. Panic swept through me like a tidal wave and a fear I never thought I’d feel again had taken over.
“My chest,” she said through heavy, intense breaths. “I can’t… breathe.”
At first, I couldn’t process what I was hearing. It was as if my whole body went into panic mode as every horrible, painful thought imaginable had entered my brain.
I already lost Hayes.
I couldn’t lose her.