Page 20 of Aftersome
She gave me a sad smile in return.
“Of course it matters. Just because you’re doing it for them doesn’t mean it won’t affect you. Your feelings are just as important too.”
Alice always knew what to say to get me in my feelings. She validated me every time I needed it and right now all I could think about was how much I was going to miss her. How I’d miss waking up every morning to her watering those damn plants, orjust walking over to her house because I wanted to see her. She was the constant in my life I never knew I needed and I was so grateful to have her.
“Just promise me you’ll be okay? Don’t let that grump get to you. If he gets mad or says anything hurtful, just know he doesn’t mean it. All that a misunderstood man needs in his life is a woman who will do her best to understand.”
My skin caught fire. I didn’t want to be that woman. I was there for one reason and one reason only, and that was to bring him back.
“Alice, that’s the absolute last thing on my mind. I don’t want to understand him, I just want to go there, do what I have to do, and come back. That’s it.”
Nodding, she still didn’t look convinced.
“I’m just saying, Joe was like that when I met him. Short-tempered, with a chip on his shoulder.” She grinned. “Took him a while to warm up to me, but really all he needed was someone who understood why he was the way he was. Without judgement.”
I appreciated everything she was telling me, but it wasn’t the same. I wasn’t going there to make amends with Mal. Whether he would warm up to me or not didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to be that person who would solve Mal. If even that were a possibility, I wouldn’t have the strength to do it.
All my courage was stripped away when Hayes died.
“Yes, I know.” I smiled sadly. “And maybe someday Mal will meet that person. If anything, I think that’s what he needs, but it won’t be me.”
I could sense she had more to say and if it were any other topic, I wouldn’t object to letting her continue. But I had no energy or the desire to talk about Mal more than I already had to.
“You have an idea on how long you’ll be gone for?”
Sighing, I let my hands fall from around my waist.
“I’m hoping not for too long, but really, it all depends on him.”
Nodding, she gave me a brief smile. One full of understanding and hope.
“Well, it’ll be strange not having you around.” She kicked off her feet, causing her to rock back in her chair. “I think I might miss you a little.”
Laughing, I couldn’t help but let a tear fall.
“A little, huh?” I chuckled. “That’s it?”
“Okay, maybe more than a little, but don’t tell anyone I told you that.”
I smiled.
“I won’t. Don’t want anyone to know that you’re actually a sweet, crazy plant lady, right?”
She started to shake her head on a chuckle as she closed in on me.
“You have the crazy plant lady part right.”
She closed the distance between us and wrapped her arms around my middle for a hug. Then closing my eyes, I mustered up one last goodbye to the woman who had become my rock.
“Be strong, Wren.”
On a smile, I nodded.
Always.
6
WREN
