Page 4 of Aftersome
Even if it was just sitting on her flowerpot-and-plant-covered front porch, where we drank sweet tea and talked about anything and everything. I found myself wanting those easy, peaceful nights more often now as going out seemed less appealing. Not that I was going out much anyway, but I’d take meaningful conversations and the best sweet tea I’ve ever tasted over a night out.
“I must have shrunk overnight because now I can’t reach my damn begonias.” She grunted as I made my way up her stepswith a grin directed at the five-foot woman who was using her cane to lift herself up higher onto her toes.
“Why don’t you go sit down and let me finish watering the rest,” I offered as I slowly approached her side and went to grab the watering can. A small huff flew past her lips in annoyance.
“I didn’t want to bother you, but she was looking a little droopy and I didn’t want her to go another day without water.”
Smiling, I began watering the rest of her plants.
“You don’t have to worry about bothering me, Alice. If anything, I’m the one that bothers you too much.” I chuckled while she pointed to a few more flowers that needed to be watered and once I was done, I took a seat in one of her white rocking chairs next to her.
“You’re never a bother. I just don’t understand why a young, beautiful lady like yourself isn’t out enjoying what the world has to offer.” She leaned farther back into her chair as her eyes settled on something in her front yard. “Wouldn’t you rather be out with friends? Making memories? Meeting someone?”
Instantly, a sharp pain broke out in my abdomen. It was an ache that was forever embedded in the edges of my heart and every day, no matter the length of time that had passed, it always felt the same.
Like I could no longer find air.
Like the world had come crashing down, destroying every ounce of hope and happiness that I had been given.
That he had given me, and it was suddenly… gone.
One moment he was here, then the next, not. And it never got any easier. Ten years later, I still desperately clung on to the past because I refused to let his memory fade away.
I refused to let the memory of us fade away.
“Oh, Wren…” Alice interrupted, causing my hazy eyes to refocus. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I speak before I think.”
With a somber smile, I peered over at her and noticed the regret shining in her eyes. I hated that I had made her feel bad, but the mention of even trying to meet someone new felt like a knife to the chest. I knew she hadn’t meant anything by it. I knew she was coming from a place of love and concern, but I was happy where I was in life. I was content living here. Anywhere else felt wrong. Just existing in a world without him in it was hard enough, so that’s why I chose to move here after graduating. In his hometown where I could feel close to him.
“Don’t be sorry, Alice. I’m just… not ready for anything new.” I reached across the small table that sat between us and gave her arm a soft squeeze. I talked about Hayes often, just as she did her late husband Joe. Bittersweet memories of the past that almost seemed imaginary to us now. We laughed and cried together, but mostly we just listened while the other reminisced.
I kind of like to think that she was meant to move in next door to me. That we were meant to cross paths at some point in time and become friends.
“And there’s nothing wrong with that.” She placed her palm over the hand I had on her arm. “I just want you to be happy, Wren. You deserve to be happy.”
My mouth tilted upward as our eyes connected in an exchange of emotions. She was once like me, a young woman who had given her whole heart to a man who had left her too soon. She understood the sheer pain of losing someone and how much courage and strength it took to finally find peace again. When I looked at her, I didn’t just see the sweet but quirky old lady who lived next door, I saw someone who recognized me.
Without judgment.
“I am happy. I promise. Who needs a man when I have you?” I teased, lightening up the mood with a soft chuckle and smile.
“Oh, there’s nothing special about me. I’m just the crazy neighbor who prefers plants over people.”
She had to know that I saw her as so much more than that. Was she a little crazy? Yes, but I think everyone had their moments. And preferring plants over people? I did too. If anything, she and I were the same.
“And I prefer you over people.”
We continued going back and forth for a while and before I knew it, an hour had passed. With my stare focused on a falling leaf, I noticed a black SUV pulling into my driveway. I recognized it immediately.
“Having some company over tonight?” Alice asked as I watched Shelia exit her car and wave her hand hello in my direction.
“Apparently.” I laughed and pushed myself out of the chair. “You going to be okay if I go?”
With the swat of her hand, she motioned for me to get off her porch.
“Oh shoo, I’ll be fine. If I need you, I’ll call.” Her sass caused a burst of chuckles to fall past my lips.
“All right, all right.” I laughed some more while slowly retreating down her front steps. “If I don’t see you later tonight, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Peering over my shoulder, I looked back at Alice as she slowly lifted herself out of the chair. I sauntered across her lawn and over to mine where Shelia was standing next to her car holding a leaning tower of Tupperware.
