Page 83 of Aftersome
And why the fuck had it bothered me so much?
“Do you hate me, Mal?” I asked on a cry. “Or do you wish you could hate me?”
Though his jaw was clenched and his eyes held on to mine with such a deep intensity, he looked torn on what to do or say. I would almost bet that no one dared to talk to him this way. Ignite actual feelings within him because right now, he was struggling.
Body language, facial expressions, he was fighting it all.
“Tell me something! Anything!” I begged and turned around until I was facing him. “Tell me why you never mention Hayes to me or why you don’t seem to be affected by this day at all?”
He immediately tore his eyes away from mine on a low, warning-like growl.
“Don’t, Wren,” he cautioned.
“Why?!” I shouted. “Why can’t you just be honest with me? For once?”
His breathing had turned more labored now. Like an animal, his nostrils were flaring and he wouldn’t meet my eyes. I was tempted to grab his chin and force him to acknowledge me, but when a few seconds had passed, I didn’t have to.
He finally turned his head, and that’s when I knew I had awoken the beast.
29
MAL
Why was she doing this?
Why was she trying to purposefully piss me off and evoke feelings inside of me I had no desire to fucking acknowledge?
Weren’t we finally past all this anyway? I thought I’d finally gained her trust when she let me be here for her tonight, but now she was pushing.
Pushing for more.
Pushing for answers.
Still in between my legs, but now facing me, she acted like she was ready to go to war with me. Her pink hair freshly brushed and a red face to match her splotchy eyes. For a minute there, I thought I was helping her.
But just like mine, her emotions were becoming too overwhelming to figure out and something had pushed her over the edge.
“Why?” she shouted at me. “Why can’t you just be honest with me? For once?”
My skin went red hot from her accusations. When it came to honesty, she had no fucking room to talk. She was just about, ifnot more prone to be hot and cold with me as I was her. Telling me that I needed her, then demanding she didn’t want to see me. She was just as confused as I was and it pissed me off knowing she wouldn’t acknowledge her own dishonesty.
“You’re right, I haven’t been honest with you.” I made sure I had her full attention as I leaned in close to her. “How can I when every second I’m in your presence, you make me question everything?”
Her mouth started to quiver at my confession.
“One second I can barely find the strength to look at you, and the next, I need an emergency or cataclysmic event to happen to tear my eyes away from you.” I sneered, but more so directing it at myself as everything I didn’t want out in the open was now coming out anyway. “You wanted honesty, Doe? There it is.”
I tore my eyes away from hers, afraid I might do something stupid if I kept watching her lip tremble and her eyes widen from my words. I was more than just pissed off, I was angry at myself for letting things get to this point.
“Ever since you’ve shown up here, you made everything confusing as hell for me.”
I could feel her pulling away from me. Not just physically, but mentally. She slowly crawled out from between my legs and found a spot at the end of the bed where she peered off into the distance.
Contemplating what to do or say next.
A loud silence filled the air and for once in my life, I wished I could have taken back what I said. Guilt swarmed me in that moment and suddenly, I was brought back to why I was here.
Why this could never happen.
