Page 106 of Into These Eyes
As blood races through my veins, I press my forearm against the wall and rest my head there. I’ve learnt something new about her just now. When I take charge, when I leave her with no choices to make, she enjoys it.
Benny taught me how to restrain myself in prison, but out here, in the real world, I don’t have any fucking control over my life. At least, I didn’t think so. Until now.
The woman who appears to thrive on control, wants to let go. My mind races over our conversations. It’s been more than once that she’s told me she wishes she could let someone else take the reins, be the one responsible so she doesn’t have to make all the decisions.
Although control seems ingrained within her everyday life, there’s at least one part where it isn’t. Her role in a romantic relationship. Just like me, she’s never had one, so she doesn’t know who she is inside one. The thought of taking the lead, guiding her and discovering what turns her on right along with her, has my breath catching in my throat.
When she emerges from the laundry with her satchel and coffee, she appears more pulled together than I am, though that fatigue is back.
A horn toots outside. I hurry to the front door and open it for her.
“Have a good day, Jamie.”
She glances down at my crotch, then meets my eyes with a mischievous grin. “I’m sure yours will be better than mine.”
Cheeky little minx.
I chuckle as she hurries out the door and down the steps. Without turning around, she gives me a little wave, then disappears into the waiting Uber at the kerb.
I consider doing what she clearly believes I’m going to do, but I need to get to work on the outside of the house before it gets too hot. Benny will be here soon, so at least I’ll have that distraction for the rest of the day.
But that’s only temporary. I have no idea how I’m going to control myself when she gets home tonight and we’re alone again. We can’t continue denying what’s happening between us. And it’s all too clear now that she won’t make a move. That’ll be up to me.
I’ll simply have to play it by ear. She’s already exhausted. Who knows how today will affect her. She’s overworked and her father’s betrayal is still weighing heavily on her emotional state.
Maybe now’s the worst time to push her. I want so much more with her than just the physical attraction that’s sparking between us. The last thing I want is to ignite it, only to fuck it up.
Chapter 31
Jamie
Ithink I might have to kill Gavin Lake for the state he left me in.
The moment I arrived at work, I made a beeline straight for the toilets. After twisting and turning in the mirror to make sure I hadn’t left a dark patch on the back of my dress, I hid myself in a stall and decided pantyliners should be my new best friends.
Thank God I took my own advice. Trying to concentrate in court when my mind kept replaying Gavin’s touch had beenquite a battle. Fortunately, by the time lunchtime came around, the proceedings were adjourned until after the Christmas break.
Being back at my desk proves even less productive. Now that I’m under no immediate obligation to concentrate, my mind goes straight to Gavin’s hands on me, to drowning in that incredible eye contact.
When he brushed over my backside, when his thumb traced the outline of my breast, when he simply touched meanywhere, it took everything I had to hold back a long, throaty groan.
But most of all, he had every hair follicle on my body standing at attention when he spoke those low, gravelly words into my ear like an intimate secret. I’ve never been so turned on in my life. The night before I wanted his kiss. This morning, I wanted a hell of a lot more.
And I wasn’t alone. He had a predatory look in his eyes, like I’m his, and I’d better hurry up and damn well realise it. Instead of unsettling me, I’d felt cocooned and unburdened. He’d crashed through the crumbling walls around my heart and joined me on the other side, promising he could take as much weight off my shoulders as I’d allow.
Then my phonedinged.
And I start all over again, replaying it on a never-ending loop.
Until I start torturing myself about what I’m going to do when I get home. Pretend it never happened? Throw myself at him? Are those the only options?
As Benny would say,Christ on a cracker.
Fortunately, by the time 2pm rolls around, and I’ve accomplished exactly nothing for the day, the funeral home calls to tell me my father’s death certificate has arrived. I duck out of work early, pick it up, then hurry over to the solicitor’s office and collect Dad’s will packet.
Upon returning to an insanely busy afternoon, I don’t get a chance to look at the will. Or slip back into fantasy land.
With last night’s lack of sleep oozing into my mind and body, I relax against the headrest in the back of an Uber, close my eyes and think about my father’s will resting in my satchel. I suppose I could open it now, but really, I can’t imagine that my father would have done anything other than leave half his estate to me and half to Anika.
