Page 112 of Into These Eyes
I’d love to do just that, but I’d rather get it finished so it’s ready the moment Pete gives me the go-ahead. “I’m fine. Just because we have to delay a little, doesn’t mean we can’t get everything prepared.”
“Jamie …”
“No. We should do it now.” I turn to the computer, open Gavin’s affidavit and scroll down to where we stopped last time. That’s when I remember why I’ve been putting off going further. Now that we have my father’s confession, I need to face what I’ve been avoiding.
It’s better to know the truth than keep wondering. No matter how painful it might be. And Gavin’s the only one who can tell me what I’ve dreaded knowing since the moment I was told of my mother’s murder.
Chapter 32
Gavin
In the face of all the pain Jamie’s father just hit her with, her selflessness floods my chest with a deep warmth that emanates straight from my heart.
While that prick revealed the numerous lies and manipulations in his marriage, my only thoughts were for Jamie, and how his words had impacted her.
All she saw was my freedom.
I still can’t wrap my head around the idea that my life might soon be my own again. It’s surreal, too much to take in right now.
Surprising me, she closes the laptop and pushes it away.Good. She needs to rest and unwind, to take a moment to absorb her father’s revelations.
When she swivels her stool away from the counter so she’s looking straight at me, she’s suddenly apprehensive. “Gavin?”
I turn and face her, the brush of our bare knees sending a spark right through me. Positioning myself so my legs bracket hers, I give her my undivided attention.
“Your affidavit … We’re up to the part where you find my mother on the ground.” She takes a deep breath. “I think … well … I think I’d like you to tell me about that … personally. Not as a stiff, formal recollection for a legal document.”
Her fingers grip her thighs just above her knees, the tension in her muscles so intense I don’t miss the slight tremble in her arms. Any ideas I had earlier about what tonight might hold have gone out the window. Right now, I just want to reassure her, pull her against me and protect her from any more emotional turmoil.
But I don’t. I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. And I know she’s been avoiding it. I can only hope it’ll be cathartic and not hurt her further. Now that the moment’s here, I’m not sure the timing’s right. Not on top of her father’s video. But it’s not my decision. It’s hers. And I’m convinced sheshouldhear it.
She hesitates, and when I see her struggle to form the words, I grab the edges of her stool and pull her closer. Gently pressing the inside of my thighs against the outside of hers, I cocoon her in a safe space. “Ask me.”
After exhaling a long breath, she does. “When you found her, was she alive?”
“Yes,” I answer, locking my eyes with hers, watching the surprise and torment as she takes in a tiny gasp.
“She suffered, then?”
“I don’t … I can’t be sure about that.” I wish I could lie to her, but I won’t.
She bites her bottom lip with indecision. When she releases it, she says, “Tell me. Every detail. From the moment you found her.”
I take myself back to that night. And hesitate. Something shifts inside me, and I suddenly feel like I’m falling down an endless dark hole. When her warm hand blankets the fist I’ve formed on my thigh, she anchors me to her.
“Gavin? Are you okay?”
I don’t know what the hell that was or where it came from, but I have to tell her what she needs to know.
“When I fell to my knees beside her, she was breathing fast, shallow breaths. Like an idiot, I grabbed the knife’s handle. I remember thinking that if I could just get it out of her, she’d be okay, the way she was before it went into her. Stupid the things that go through your head.”
I take the fist from my other leg and drag it down my face, as if I can erase the painful memory with such a simple action. At the very least, it gives me a moment to pull myself together. This is about Jamie, not me.
“They kept saying you were strangling her. That’s what it looked like in the video, but—”
“No!” I blurt, shaking my head. “Jamie, no. That’s not what happened.”
“I know, Gavin. I know that. What I don’t understand is why it looked that way in the footage.”
