Page 115 of Into These Eyes
Slipping out of my grasp, she picks up her laptop and retreats to the dining table.
In the bathroom, I wash my face, stare into the mirror, and take a deep breath. I can’t deny that I feel a sense of peace after telling her what I’d kept locked inside. Of all the darkness and vile depths that night brought with it, Jamie showed me something that positive came out of it.
But it’s her reaction to the revelations that has my head spinning. Along with her ability to empathise and comfort, she saw the raw, vulnerable man I am … and kissed me anyway.
I’ve always felt that indescribable pull toward her, but I’ve never paired it with a particular emotion. Now it’s lit up in my head by a billion neurons that won’t stop firing.
Fuck.
I don’t just want her. I’m head over heels in love with her.
Chapter 33
Jamie
Istare through the laptop screen, seeing nothing but the movie playing over and over in my head.
I kissed Gavin Lake.
I can barely believe I’d acted so boldly. But I hadn’t given it any thought. For once in my life, I’d let my instincts take over. The intimacy of him opening up like that, the way he trusted me by unabashedly letting me witness his pain, touched something deep inside me.
When he broke, my heart cracked wide open, and I let him seep inside that fracture. Knowing my mother hadn’t been alone, had been comforted when she died, gave my soul peace. So I’d done the only thing that came anywhere near what he’d given me. I’d held him and tried to show him how much that meant to me.
It had been effortless, and it worked.
Although I’d been disgusted with myself for never considering the profound impact finding my dying mother had on him, he’d gone and made that okay, too.
When he told me that his act of kindness toward my mother got him here, with me, something exceptional happened. Those wonderful words revealed his soul stripped bare. He’d taken the most negative thing to ever happen in his life and turned it into something positive.
So, I’d kissed him. It just feltright. There had been nothing sexual about the kiss. That’s not what the moment was about at all. He’d given me a profound gift. How could words convey what that meant to me?
But I can’t keep lying to myself. It’s been brewing since he held me so tenderly in that caravan. I’ve been trying to hide from it, trying to convince myself it’s nothing more than attraction. But it is. He’s chipped away at my cold, closed heart, finally breaking it wide open tonight. Now he’s slipped right in, filled it with warmth and melded it back together. With him captured inside.
There’s no doubt anymore. I’m in love with Gavin Lake.
Unsure where he is, I shutdown the laptop, stagger over to the couch, and flop against the soft leather. Trying to get that affidavit done while my emotions are a tangled mess is futile. I’m in desperate need of sleep after last night, and tomorrow there’s that awful annual work dinner.
I sigh, grab the TV remote and click it on for some background noise. Getting comfortable on my back, I tuck a cushion undermy head and close my eyes. My traitorous brain instantly replays the kiss, but it doesn’t stop there. I can’t help wondering what it would be like to kiss him in an altogether different way. How would he taste? What would his lips and tongue feel like moving against mine? And just like that, a coil of arousal blooms between my legs. From imagining a kiss.
Ugh. How long has it been since I’ve had an orgasm? I haven’t dared do any such thing while he’s been in the house. But before that? Jesus, has it been months? Seeking pleasure hadn’t been on my radar with Dad’s decline and Anika preparing to leave for the Police Academy.
Pushing those thoughts away, I fill my head with memories of cradling his face, at how surprisingly soft that neatly trimmed beard felt in my hands. How it would feel against my skin, wherever he might choose to place a kiss.
Hearing his footsteps approach, then pause beside the couch, I crack an eyelid and peer up at him through the bars of my lashes. He stares at my feet for a long moment, before beginning a slow perusal up my bare calves. When he lingers on my thighs, I remember I haven’t changed out of my work dress like I usually do when I get home. From the trajectory of his gaze, I’d say my hem has ridden up to just shy of my crotch.
I should pull it down. But I don’t move. Warmth floods my veins, but my skin seems to have the opposite reaction. It prickles with goosebumps, tightening my nipples to rock-hard pebbles.
It only takes a moment for his eyes lock onto my chest. Peering through my barely cracked lids, I’m captivated by the growing bulge in his jeans. Heat pools between my thighs at the sight of his arousal, at what justlookingat me is doing to him. And to me.
Before he catches me, I close my eyes and remain completely still.
“You awake?” he whispers.
“Mmm.” I blink up at him, careful to keep my focus on his face.
“Mind if I watch something?” he asks, pointing to the remote in my hand.
After I pass it to him, he turns and looks at my feet. I instinctively bend my knees, making room for him as I ease the hem of my dress down to mid-thigh. He sits on the cushion my feet vacated and flicks through a few channels before settling on something.
